I never really liked the thought of writing, expressing your feelings, mapping out your ideas to reflect it onto paper. It never really stuck to me, yet here I am trying to write everything about you, even I don't understand how I feel anymore, what did you do to me?
Am I lovesick? Is that normal? I feel like i'll puke my own heart out, why am I blue when your not replying? I hate this feeling I don't want it anymore everytime your near I choke up like something is coming out of my mouth.
As innocent as being in love is, it sounds dreadful, tiring even, i'm not ready for this I wan't it to stop but at the same time, I don't? The stigma of love it's over bearing. Do I wanna tell you this? Will I be able to do it anyways? It's too much, I want to cry, I want to scream, I want fall, fall deep into an ocean feeling it'a heaviness engulf my body. This wasn't meant to be a love story nor will it be one, yet why are you pushing me in that direction, I may be overthinking it, i'm sure of it, overthinking about the possibilities of me ending up with you. Arghhh! Stop that! You're not supposed to think about him, why do you torture yourself like this? What are you so afraid of losing here?
Do I even want to try anymore? To try and word out everything I feel for you? Isn't it obvious? How oblivious can you be!
You wanted to know so badly who shattered my whole world into millions of pieces, but its hard to say that three lettered word.
It's not fair, it's not fair, it'a not fair! How can you live so freely with a peace of mind while mine is surrounded with the thorns of you! How can you be this cruel?
Every thought of you peirces my mind and blooms beautiful roses of your laughter and smile. It's too early, it's too late, it's too much, is it fate? Why can't I say those simple three words! Those words that bear the heaviest impact that can bring to a human heart.
Why do I have to stay awake late at night cursing atvtye image of you foe bringing me so much happiness, so much fun, so much pain, so much fatigue, so much heartache? What do you want me to say? That I think about you all day every hour? That I have become a slave to your kindness? I am chained down by the thing called "Love"
This is not a love story nor will it ever be one, but this time I think I found the reason that might turn my whole existance to the edge.
