I wish you stayed | Andrew (Merluca)

Part 17

2 years and 8 months after Meredith's death (4MONTHS)

...

"I will visit the kids again today. I love them so much. They became one of the most important parts of my life. They miss you a lot. But we all try to look forward together. And I know you would want that for us." - 20. August 2023

...

I had spent the whole day with the kids; first at the park, then eating ice cream and afterwards playing in the backyard.

Before I met Meredith's kids I had never imagined that spending time with them would give me so much joy. That just observing them, trying to eat their ice cream fast enough before it's melted completely or seeing them discuss whether chocolate chip or strawberry is the best ice cream, made me happy. All the small moments made me feel so much joy. Of course, I always liked kids, I loved all my cousins and I came from a big family, but spending all this time with Meredith's kids was something special. These were moments that I wanted to remember forever.

I was just about to say goodbye to all of them, including Maggie and Amelia, who had joined us with Scout to play in the backyard when the kids stopped me.

"Can you stay today?" I heard Ellis asking a little shy, before Zola added "We want to have a movie night. A real movie night. Like the one time where mommy was still here, and we all fell asleep on the couch. Do you remember?"

"Of course, I remember." I answered giving them a small smile. It was one of my favorite memories. At that time Meredith had only introduced me to them. We had only gotten to know each other a little. And that one evening Meredith invited me to watch a film with them and in the end we had fallen asleep on the couch. Meredith, her kids and I. And that feeling of being around her family was one of the best feelings I have ever felt.

I looked up at Maggie and Amelia wanting to make sure that this would be okay with them.

"You're always welcome here, Andrew. And you know that." Amelia answered, assuring me that I could stay.

"Then we will have a movie night today." I turned towards the kids, seeing how their faces lit up, smiles forming on their lips.

...

After they convinced me to stay I went inside trying to focus on preparing something for dinner. But that was harder than I imagined. It made me so happy to know that they wanted me to be here with them. And at the same time it made me miss Meredith even more. She was supposed to be here with them. To have that movie night with them.

I took a few deep breaths before I finally started to prepare dinner.

...

"You should bring Emma at some point." Amelia had joined me in the kitchen, surprising me with her question.

"What?" I asked her trying to get some time to think, not completely sure where she was coming from. And not sure what to answer.

"You heard me, Andrew." She gave me her you-know-what-I-mean look, before it turned into an encouraging smile.

"I don't want to force anyone on them." I stopped for a moment with what I was doing, looking up at her.

The truth was, I had thought about it before. But after everything they have been through, I didn't want to interrupt the relationship I have built with them. And even more important, I didn't want to just put someone else in their lives.

"But you are a big part of the kids' lives now. You can't hide Emma from them forever." Amelia added with a small smile.

"Is Emma your girlfriend?" I heard Ellis behind Amelia, asking shyly who we were talking about, looking at me with big eyes, followed by her two siblings.