2 and a half years after Meredith's death (1 MONTH)
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"I hope you won't be mad at me." – 03. April 2023
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Emma and I had spent more time together the past few weeks. We were getting closer again, while she gave me the time I asked for at the same time. We met during our lunch breaks, we worked together a little more again, and a few times we talked on the bench outside the hospital after our shift ended.
And every day that went by I felt more ready to try to be in a relationship with her again. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to a hundred percent. At some point I would just have to try again, but I felt more ready this time.
I had thought a lot about us the past few days, deciding whether I should finally ask her out on a date or wait a little longer. My fears were what kept me from taking the next step, but there was also a part of me that didn't want to wait anymore, and so I came to the decision to finally ask her on a real date.
I was walking through the hospital when I saw Emma in the attendings' lounge. I went inside, suddenly not so sure anymore what exactly I wanted to say. But a bigger part of me wanted to be on that date with her, and so I tried to put my fear aside.
"Hey. Are you free tonight?"
"Yes. My shift ends in a few minutes." She looked at me questioning.
"Mine, too. Can we meet at the bench in 10 minutes?" I asked a little nervous. I hadn't even asked her out on a date yet and still I felt that way.
"Yeah. Is everything okay?" She sounded a bit worried.
"Yes. I just want to ask you something." I gave her a small smile, before I left to get changed.
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"Hey." A few minutes later I arrived at our bench in the little park outside the hospital. I saw Emma already sitting there, looking at me.
I went around the bench, until I stopped in front of her, offering her my hand to help her stand up. Once she stood in front of me, I interlaced our fingers, looking at our hands, before I looked up at Emma.
I could see the slight confusion between the smile on her face.
"I want to ask if you would want to go on a date with me tonight?" I asked, trying not to sound too nervous. I knew she said she would wait until I was ready, I knew she would most probably say 'yes' and still here I was feeling more nervous than I expected.
"I – Yes." She seemed surprised at first, her face soon turning into a big smile.
She kept staring at me for a moment. And I was pretty sure it was my place to say something, but I couldn't help myself and just kept smiling at her a moment longer.
"This is our special day now." I heard her say, looking up at me; her eyes shining.
"It is." I confirmed with a big smile myself.
"Are you always like this?"
"Like what?" I asked not completely sure what she meant.
"You could have asked me in the attendings' lounge." She turned her head slightly, looking at me amused.
"I'm only like this when it comes to things or people that are important to me." I wanted it to be more than just an afterthought at work, because she was more than that to me. I had done something similar for Meredith. I won't lie, I would have kissed Meredith in that elevator, because how could I resist her? But when I got the chance, I had taken Meredith to the rooftop, because she was special and I wanted it to be special, and then the rooftop became our place. And this bench somehow had become Emma's and my bench.
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"Okay. Your car or my motorcycle? I don't have my car at the hospital." I asked after another moment.
"My car. I'm not getting on that thing."
"Okay." I started to laugh at the determination behind her answer. It seemed like I like to date people who don't like my motorcycle.
"What?" She asked me, laughing as well.
"Nothing." I shook my head slightly, still smiling at her.
"You know you can talk about Meredith in my presence." She said softly, looking at me with the smile still on her lips.
"I – It's just... You two are... different. But, if you have one thing in common, it's that you both hate my motorcycle."
"Well, I agree with her. It's dangerous." She chuckled slightly.
"Okay. Your car it is. But now I want to focus on us." I turned a bit more serious again, taking her other hand in mine, letting my thumb graze over hers.
"Good." She smiled, looking up at me. "But she is a part of your live. And to understand what's going on when you feel down or... I don't know... I just – I need you to know that you can talk to me about her if you want to."
"Okay." I whispered, looking at her, before I added "But I also need you to tell me, how it makes you feel, because as much as I love her, I don't want her to become the third person in our relationship."
"We'll find that balance."
"Thank you."
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"I hope I won't lose you by trying to move on." – 03. April 2023
[You won't! All I want for you is to get happy again.]
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End of chapter 16
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As much as it hurts me to write about Andrew being with someone else, I want him to be happy and I'm sure Meredith would want that, too! 💕
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I wish you stayed | Andrew (Merluca)
Fanfiction[AU based on Season 17] Andrew tries to figure out his feelings after Meredith died. How is he supposed to grieve and how can he maybe move on at some point? I don't own any of the characters!
