Short Stories and Oneshots

back and forth

tw for mentions of suicide

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"You've gotta stop doing this."

I grit my teeth, refusing to meet their eyes. "I know."

"Like, really. This isn't healthy. Dumping all this on everyone else isn't going to fix anything."

"I know. Shut up." I snap.

They cross their arms, scowling. "Yeah, so you say. And yet here we are again."

"Shut up." I say again. "You're not any better, and you know it. Being the 'voice of reason' doesn't mean anything when you end up falling into the exact same habits as me."

The scowl deepens slightly. "Sure, maybe I have issues too, but at least I'm not bringing everyone else down too every time I feel bad." they say, all too superior for my liking.

My hands tense, fingers gripping the counter tighter. "No, not every time. Just the one or two times you say something way too dark way too seriously and scare us all out of our fucking minds. Isolating yourself isn't any better- it just makes things worse for you, and all of us still have to deal with it in the end."

"We're not talking about me." they say dismissively. "I'm not the one having their third breakdown of the month."

"Shut up!" I snap, yet again. I doubt it'll be the last time I say it to them, too. "You're such a hypocrite! You try so hard to help me, or anyone else down, but it's all bullshit that you make up on the spot! You don't believe any of it! You can't even deal with your own problems, so stop pretending like you can fix ours!"

They shift their weight, seeming uncomfortable. It's backed by guilt, but I feel somewhat gratified to have unnerved them.

"Being quieter about it doesn't make you less suicidal." I tell them grimly.

"And venting about it all the time isn't going to lessen the weight." they tell me immediately. "My helping might be two-dimensional, but you're not helping anyone. Everything you're doing...the way you 'cope' with stuff...it makes things worse for you and everyone around you."

"Shut UP! Shut up, you asshole! I KNOW that! And I feel bad about it! What's your fucking point?!" I yell, starting to lose my grip on my temper.

They lean towards me, their face sinking into a full contemptuous glare. "That is my point. I don't care if I'm a hypocrite- you're horrible. Every time you go down, you've got to do it in the worse way possible. You've got to grasp for attention and be as dramatic as you feasibly can, even though you know it doesn't help a goddamn thing. And you're not even grateful for the help you get- it just turns you into an even bigger brat."

"Why don't I just KILL MYSELF then?! If I'm such a pain in everyone's ass!" I snarl insincerely. "We know it'd be easy enough! We know I sure as hell want to!"

"Aaaaand here we go again. We get it, we get it." they say flatly. "You're sad, or angry, or just feeling like a mess. You've got to loudly proclaim your desire to not be here, but you're not actually going to do anything, because you're scared of pain and you know what you'd leave in your wake if you did die. Grow up and learn to deal with your own goddamn problems."

"Congratulations, you've got me aaaall figured out! You know exactly what's going on in my head! Do you want a fucking award?" I snap. "You can't pretend that you're any better! I might be loud, but I know I wouldn't do it! Everyone else knows I wouldn't do it! But we can't trust you! You KNOW the consequences, you KNOW what would happen to the rest of us, and you're still like this! You still just have to keep wanting to die! It just feels like a threat at this point, and a pretty shitty one at that!"

Their unconcerned mask cracks. "My mental issues don't have anything to do with you." they say softly. "It's not your business."

I try to let out a sarcastic laugh, but it sounds more like an enraged growl. "Yes, they do! You make it my business! And everyone else's business!"

"Now who's the hypocrite?!" they shoot back. I laugh again, and it sounds more genuine this time.

"Oh, yeah. I might push my problems onto other people, but at least I'm AWARE of it. I try to fix it. I don't pretend to be so fucking aloof that I can't see the knife in my own hand. You're on such a high horse that you won't look for help."

I can see them getting more worked up as I continue. "Admit it. You just don't like the way I deal with things, because you know we're in the same position and you can't do any better than me. You know that for all the fucking disaster that I am, you are no better off. "."

"Stop it!" they snarl, sounding slightly panicked.

"Why should I?! You never seem to listen when I tell you anything!" I snap back.

They ball their hands into fists. "Does anyone?!" they retort. "Nobody listens to you! No one cares what you have to say! Isn't that exactly what you're always complaining about?! Why should I be any different?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I scream, starting to lose my head entirely. "STOP EXPECTING ME TO DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!"

"You?!" they ask, their voice rising in pitch as well. "YOU deal with MY problems? You ARE my problems, you miserable bitch! You CREATE my problems! You don't deal with shit!"

"Neither do you!" I holler, my breath coming in shallow gasps as my rage chokes me.

"So then WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!" they demand. My voice grows louder as well, as though I'm unconsciously trying to outdo them.

I suck in a breath, just to spend it all as I spit out, "BECAUSE YOU WON'T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

They scream, something that might've started out as words but just ends up as an unintelligible, despairing shriek. This finally pushes me completely over the edge, and I swing my fist towards them, channeling all my fury into the punch.

The glass shatters against my fist.

Fragments of the mirror fly everywhere, reflective shards falling around me as the whole thing comes down. I drag in heaving breaths, shaking as I stare furiously at my splintered reflection.

"Leave me...the fuck...alone." I mutter.

They look back at me, reverting back to the cold persona they wore before. As if they didn't break down in front of my very eyes, the same way I just did.

"I wish I could."