KEVIN MALONE SMUT

New job

You wake up in a very weird position on your twin 
bed you had since you were 12. You remember that you were sucking on your big hairy juicy toes while listening to a very underrated song called dance monkey by toes and I. God....you're so fucking weird LOL. Anyways you're like mad hungry tho so you walk to your kitchen very quietly so you won't wake up your neighbors because your vagina lips are always wet af so it makes a really loud noise when you walk. You open your fridge and there's like only spoiled Chinese food from 3 weeks ago in there. You realize you're like really fucking broke.
"I need to get a job." You sighed.

Moments later...
You're in the shower. You think about how sexually frustrated you are and how you would run 30 miles just for a DROP of sea men ....
"What the F word is wrong with me" y/n says. (You literally said f word)
At some point while you were in the shower you randomly get super horny so you start to flick your bean. For some reason you get turned on by black-eyed beans so like you have a singular bean in your shower to flick. This time you accidentally flicked the bean in the drain.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD IM LITERALLY GONNA KILL MYSELF FUCK LIFE FUCK EVERYONE FUCK LOVE I WANT TO FUCKING MURDER A BITCH" you yelled.
"You have quite the temper." A voice in your head said.
"Do everyone a favor and piss and cum" another said.
Moments later you find yourself shitting in the shower. You don't even wash off the dookie stains in your booty or even take care of the massive shit you just took.

You get dressed and got on your computer to look up some jobs or something I don't know how this works..