Clouds

21.

Hey, Nialler, how are you holding up? I think this is going to be hardest letter I've written so far, so I'm sorry if it doesn't all make sense. First things first, have you decided to go brunette yet? I know you've been thinking about it, so I'm telling you to do it! Think of it as my final wish for you, yeah? And you can't deny a dead man his final wish! Okay, well I know I'm not technically dead when this was written, but I will be when you read it, so it still counts. Niall, my Irish friend, thank you for always being by my side. We have been friends for longer than I can remember, and yet you have never abandoned me. You trusted me to help you through your parent's death and you allowed me to be your shoulder to cry on. I'm just sorry that now I can't be that for you. I'm sorry you have to find someone else to be what I promised you I would always be for you. I know you've got great friends around you though; I've been watching them. Since I was diagnosed, I've been watching the way they've been around you, and I know that Louis is the person that you can depend on. Of course, Liam and Zayn are great too, but I can see the relationship that you and Louis have formed recently. You understand each other. You've both had similar life experiences and you both think I'm the most extraordinary person that has ever lived! Look after each other, yeah? Help get each other through this. I remember after your parents died my mum took you in and you became more than just my best friend. You become my brother, Niall. I can remember doing everything with you. I remember you were the first person who trusted me enough to get in the car after I passed my test. You were the person who helped me choose outfits when I had a date. You were the person who never failed to cheer me up when something went wrong. Thank you for meeting Liam and forcing me to come to the bar, because of you I met Louis. I met the love of my life. Thank you for always having your phone at hand for photos and for always capturing the special moments. Thank you for encouraging me to admit my feelings for Louis, without you, things could have been so different for both of us. You have no idea how strong of a person you are. You have so much strength, Ni, maybe not physically but mentally. You have been through so much, and you have always come out the other side. You have inspired me, Niall, honestly. You have inspired me to be a better person and never let what is happening in my life define me. Over the last few months, you have inspired me to keep fighting. You gave me back my Louis. You did that, Ni, you made my last months on earth so magical. You really are the best friend, brother, and entertainer that I ever could have wished for, so thank you for always being what I needed. I'm trying so hard not to cry now, and I still have to write two more letters, so I'm going to leave you to get on with your day. Good luck with your future, Nialler, and I hope I get to watch you achieve everything you've always dreamed of. All my love, Harry x