Blinded by Hate | a.hotchner

Chapter 47

"Is she out of surgery? When can we see her?" He started to get up from the bed again, but your hand on his thigh stopped him.

"Aaron..." You trailed. You knew that you had to actually say it, so that he knew it was real. Even so, you still wanted nothing to do with the subject.

"No. No, that's not right." He started to ramble as he put the pieces together.

You grabbed his hands in yours, "At one forty seven this morning, Kate passed away." Your hands squeezed his, making sure that he knew he was awake and it wasn't some fever dream.

"No, that can't be. She's in surgery. She's going to be fine." He pulled his hands from yours and ran his fingers through his hair, standing off the bed.

"I'm so sorry Aaron, they called me a little bit ago. I told the team first, so that you could get a little more rest." You tried to bring him into your arms, but your words seemed to enrage him.

He sucked in a hard breath before unleashing his anger, "You told the team first? Why the fuck would you do that?" His curse felt like a slap to the face, but you knew it was the denial talking.

"How, in your right mind, could you think that they needed to know first?" He continued to spit at you, his hands clenching into fists by his side, "I should have been the first to know!" He roared, and you could have stopped him, but you knew that it would probably help him to get out some of the emotions now.

"You fucking thought that Morgan should know before me? He hates her! Why didn't you just tell me! I deserved to know, I'm the only one who knows her!" He continued, but you sensed that he was close to done, his eyes starting to droop with sadness and sleep deprivation.

"I- I should have known first!" Aaron started to stutter over his words, and you could hear the tears in his voice, "I was- I was supposed to know first." He was starting to break down.

You grabbed his hands again and he finally let the tears spill from his eyes. He sunk to his knees in front of you, his hands moving to grip your waist as he let sobs rack through his body. Aaron's stubble scratched the top of your bare thighs as he buried his face in your lap, his hot tears smearing on your skin.

"I- I- I was supposed to keep her safe." He choked out through a sob, his fingers digging into your hips, "I was s-supposed to keep-p her safe, and I f-failed." Another sob racked through his body.

You gently carded your fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes, "You did everything right, sweetie. This wasn't your fault." You spoke softly, as if you were consoling a child.

He only shook his head in response, so you kept talking, "You didn't cause this honey, and you didn't fail."

"Y-yes I did." His words caught in his throat.

"No, Aaron, you didn't. Kate survived as long as she did, because of you." You continued to brush your fingers through his hair, "Because of you, she didn't die in the middle of the street, in pain. You got her to the hospital, and she passed painlessly."

You didn't know enough about surgery, to know if what you said was right, but you figured that he wouldn't fight your words in the state he's in.

His sobs finally started to subside, but the tears still poured from his eyes. You just continued to soothe him, letting him do what he needs to do to cope.

After a few minutes, Aaron's tears stopped and his eyes were trying to fight sleep while he was still kneeling in between your legs.

"Aaron, sweetie?" He hummed in response, "How about we get you in bed? You need to get some sleep?" He lazily nodded, his eyes still fighting sleep.