Going back

31|| Uncomfortable

"I'm not—"

"No, no, it's fine." He averted his gaze with a bitter shake of his head. He pushed through the small crowd and Harry took his place a moment later.

Harry sighed, eyeing the cuffed hands with a slight downward tilt of his lips. "This is a bad idea, but you're old enough to make bad decisions on your own, so I won't interfere as long as you're safe."

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"However, I will not stop nagging about it." He laughed at Iris' groan and ruffled her hair. "Don't worry about Jax- you guys will talk it out eventually."

I'm not sure we will. Despite her gloomy thoughts, Iris forced a terse smile. She wished she could go back with Harry and leave this entire mess behind, but she forced herself to remain rooted as the front door slammed and
she heard the crunch of gravel as the car drove away.

Lisa cleared her throat and clapped her hands. "So, children, let's eat something now."

"Not hungry," Alex and Iris said in unison.

Damien arched a brow. "You guys have to eat something."

"I think if I eat, I'll actually throw up," Iris declared and Alex nodded seriously. "I might turn in for the night. Brandon, could you come unlock us in the morning?"

"I— sure, yeah." Brandon frowned and glanced at his watch. "But sleep now? It's only eight-thirty!"

"Yeah, I'm beat." Iris yanked Alex forward. "Come on, let's go."

"Iris, I do not feel comfortable about you and this boy sharing a room together," David spoke up.

"Good thing I don't give a shit about your opinions."

"Iris!" He shouted, cross his arms. "I don't understand why you have to be so difficult—"

"You killed my mother!" The words exploded out of her mouth before she could stop them and were followed by a heavy silence.

David flinched. "I did not."

"Yes, you did!" Iris hated how her voice cracked on the last word, but she pushed on. "Maybe if you'd just kicked us out, then I could have forgiven you after a few years. But it's what you did after that makes me sick to even look at you."

"I have no idea what you're—"

"Oh, yes you do." Iris chuckled- a cold, dark sound that stemmed from the very depths of her hatred. "Mum was trying to find work but every single place turned her away until she eventually found out that it was because of your threats to run any business to the ground that supported her. So do you know what she did? She sold her body. Night after night. Just to put food on the table and clothes on my back. I would hear her crying whenever she came home. I would see her covered in cuts and bruises. I would smell the stench of alcohol reeking from her despite the fact she didn't drink. But not once- not once- did she blame or abandon me."

David froze. "I- I had—"

Iris smirked cruelly. "You had no idea, right? That's because you didn't care. And that's exactly the reason why I want to go back with Harry. Because he was the one who picked us off the street. He was the one who supported us emotionally and financially. Not you. So do me a favour and stay the hell out of my life."

She felt the embarrassing rush of tears and exhaled slowly, shoving past the West-Brown boys who had been watching the exchange with equally solemn expression.  And exchange of words ensued behind her, but they were drowned by the loud ringing in her ears.

Iris' vision blurred as she climbed up the steps and she missed one, felt herself fall forwards and—

"Woah!" Alex pulled her back up, hooking an arm around her waist and pressing himself back against the banister. His chest rose and fell rapidly. "Are you okay?"

Get it together. Iris scolded herself with a terse nod.

By the time they were in her room, Iris had calmed herself down and had slipped back into her facade. But she couldn't quite bring herself to face Alex.

"I uh, I would give you some space," Alex said with a sheepish grin. "But my hands are a little... tied right now."

Iris felt the weight lift from her shoulders as she shot him a flat look. "I'm fine, really."

"We both know that isn't true but, hey, today's just a day of lies. Where's Mi Cha, by the way?"

"Like hell I'll tell you. Could we just not do this right now?" Iris sighed. "I'm tired, so I'll brush my teeth and go to bed."

"What if one of us has to go to the toilet?"

"I know I won't."

"Well, what if I need to?" Alex attempted to cross his arms, but couldn't quite manoeuver it properly and so settled for resting a hand on his hip.

Now it was Iris' turn to smile. "You'll just have to hold it in until morning."

Their bathroom routine took longer than necessary as Alex insisted on using his right, chained hand for brushing, and to comb his hair one hundred times. By the end of it, Iris was tempted to give up and shoot him, but the thought of her mother carried her through.

"I'm going to change into more comfortable trousers." She pulled out a pair of black ones from her cupboard. "Suffice to say- you look, I kill. Clear?"

"Crystal." Alex squeezed his free hand over his closed eyes and turned as much as possible.

Despite all the time that had passed, Iris felt a strange sense of trust as she removed her school skirt and tights. Once she was decent, she dragged him over to the bed and flopped down, plugging her phone in charge.

"Goodnight," she mumbled.

"That's what you said last time as well."

Iris scowled and turned over, stretching Alex out until half of his body was on hers and he was in an awkward starfish shape.

He laughed. "Really, Rainbow? That's how you want to play this?"

"Shut up and go to sleep."

Iris felt her body being tugged and before she could blink, she was face-to-face with Alex with their shared hand tucked comfortably between them. He pressed a hand to the back of her head and pulled her against his shoulders.

Iris tried to push him away. "What the hell do you think—"

"Please." His voice was small and so fragile. Iris could feel his shoulders shaking and felt a few droplets sink into her hair. "Just for tonight, stay like this. Just for one night. Forget about the present and just... please."

"Okay," Iris whispered, her eyelids dropping down as if weights were attached to their ends.

"I wish..." Alex swallowed and took a shuddering breath. "I wish we could go back to the way we used to be."

Although Iris would never admit it, deep down, she wanted her best friend back too.

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