Ndlovukazi - Queen

Chapter 2

I feel a cool breeze that wakes me from my slumber, I hear the rooster crow and the birds chirping, ahhh, the sun is rising. I slowly rise from my grass mat and walk outside, although, the air is still cold it smells fresh, I sit down under a tree to enjoy the view.

Next thing I know, I hear Ma shouting my name in the distance, I sit up, realising that I fell asleep under the tree and rush to Ma. I know if I was younger this would have resulted in me getting the beating of a lifetime. But all I am greeted with, once I finally get to her, is an evil eye and I am told to go collect water. As I take Iphangela and leave to go to the river, I know this is BAD!

Sindiswa follows me to the river, "sowenzeni manje?" (what have you done now?), she asks, the way she's looking at me you would swear that she is scolding a child. I huff and continue to walk towards the river, we bathe and carry water back to the hut. I want to apologise to my mother but I can't bring myself to do it, I wouldn't mean it. So we eat porridge awkwardly as Ma only speaks to Sindiswa and the boys, we wash the dishes, release the cattle and prepare to leave for training.

Today my instructor is teaching us about aiming and retrieving the spear, " Sheshisa"(faster), he yells, I haven't even had time to catch my breathe, immediately after I throw my spear, as accurately as I can, I have to run and retrieve it just to repeat again. By the time we are done, I am drenched in sweat and I cannot feel my limbs. Nonetheless, I trudge to the nyanga's hut, she takes one look at me and pity fills her eyes, " Ncese, nkosazana, iti ngenze itiye" ( sorry princess, let me make you some tea). I smile accepting the tea, "ngiyabonga" (thank you), her tea is bitter but, after a few moments I feel alive again, our class begins as soon as we finish the tea. We are done three hours later, we help the boys put the cattle back in their pens and we all return to the hut.

"Ngiyaxholisa Ma" (I am sorry Ma), I caved, I couldn't go through the rest of the day with Ma angry at me, I hug her from behind and don't let go until I hear her sigh. She looks at me and I already know what she is going to say, "enza kancono"( do better), I nod and smile.

We all walk to the main hut where Baba lives with his first wife, every week we have a family dinner with everyone under the same roof. It only happens once a week because of the bad blood between the mothers, the other wives resent Ma, and make a point of bragging about how well their children were doing. All of my sisters were betrothed at the age of fifteen and married at eighteen.

I am Ma's oldest, I am twenty with no prospect of being betrothed in sight. Personally I do not see the problem, and I guess this adds to the inside joke that the other wives never fail to throw in Ma's face. Nokubonga and Nokukhanya both married within the tribe, both men were sons of elders and warriors in the tribe, making their mothers very proud.

The first wife, uMaKhumalo* had five daughters, including Nokubonga, the four are all married to chieftains and have children already. The second wife, uMaNgcobo*, her eldest and youngest daughters are also married to a chieftains with children and Nokukhanya will probably be pregnant any day now , leaving Ma with sons but no grandchildren of her own.

"Thandiwe, ushada nini kanti?" ( Thandiwe, when are you getting married again?), the first wife snickers, "when you have a son", I whisper making Sindiswa die of laughter next to me and Ma gives me the look. I keep quiet and continue to eat, choosing to ignore her rather than be blatantly disrespectful.

"Zihamaba kanjani izifundo zenu?"( how are your studies and training coming along), "The nyanga says that I am better than she was at my age, and the instructor says I need to be faster when retrieving my spear", I reply. Sindiswa also gives her feedback and down the table it goes, this is one of the times I am grateful for Baba, he tries to keep the peace and appreciate everyone. I hear the second wife whisper to the first wife, "she should use those herbs to make herself pretty, I guess she isn't as good as she thinks she is", they both laugh as I feel my throat close and my eyes begin to sting. Ma tries to hold my hand but I don't let her, I abruptly get up from the table and leave, I know shouldn't let them get to me but if I hadn't left, I would have done something I would have regretted.

Out of all my sisters I look like my father the most, I inherited his dark skin, big nose and big mouth, I am truely my father's daughter. As I approach the river, hot tears run down my face. I prefer not to think about my looks, I am more than what I look like, but it is frustrating when I cannot speak up against them, Ma cannot speak against them and so no one stands up to them. I feel arms around my waist and a kiss on my head, I know its Ma, it is always Ma, " gcina ikhanda lakho liphakeme, ngelosi yami" ( keep your head up, my angel), I hold on to her arms and silently cry.

Someday I will free to speak my mind and they will feel my wrath.

Once I have calmed down Ma leads me back to the hut, Sindiswa hugs me tightly as soon as we enter and the boys join her as we group hug. I laugh since I am sure they don't know what is going on but I feel their love regardless.

* In polygamous marriages since all the wives share their husbands surname, each wife is called by her maiden surname. First names are usually changed when marrying into a family and it is considered disrespectful for anyone except her husband and in-laws to use her first name.

Khumalo and Ngcobo are their surnames, putting "uMa" as a prefix is the equivalent of adding "Miss" in front of a woman's surname.