This is partially inspired by a song Troye Sivan sang (see the video above), especially the chorus where he said "Without losing a part of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?"
In the dark, I pray
For courage to live and love
and for some patience
I have been hiding
Afraid of repercussions
Afraid of judgement
In the bright daylight
I hesitate to hug him
Even as he begs
How long can he wait?
Am I being difficult?
Will he get tired soon?
Behind our backs
His shaky fingers brush mine
My heart beats faster
"No one has to know,"
His voice echoes in my ears
"It's just you and me"
The clock is ticking
Is our time running out soon?
Should we have come clean?
No heaven for me
"If you are going to hell
I'm coming with you, you hear?"
I don't want heaven
If it means eternal lies
and real loneliness
I don't want heaven
If it means betraying
A part of ourselves
YOU ARE READING
An Anthology of Frenzied Ruminations
PoetryKenta is certain of three things: 1) he does not fit heteronormative ideals 2) he is ready to find a partner 3) his crush might not like his moves. Johan is uncertain of three things: 1) if he will ever reveal his true self to the world 2) if he wi...
