Young And Growing

A/N this is a sort of poem-story hybrid, I don't really know what it is to be honest. Read it with a bit of passion and emotion to get the best effect, some of the parts are written to be read quickly too. But hey, I got an idea so I used it to my advantage :) it's kooky and unconventional, who cares? Not me! - Hannah xx

I'm 13, going on 14. My life is insane. People don't understand, but in some way I don't want them too, I like that I'm unique in what I understand and comprehend, I want to be alone in my thoughts, if they understood then they'd be invading. My heart feels like it's torn in two, first I loved him but now he's a stranger, I thought a hated another boy yet he's all I can think about, boys aren't as easy to know as I used to believe. My best friends have changed, my interests are different, my hobbies have switched to passing fads. What is going on with me?! Nothing seems like it used to anymore! I argue with my family as a joke but it can change to furious disagreements in seconds. Am I depressed? Am I crazy? Am I paranoid? Am I overreacting? What's happening now? My little nephew is too old. He was never this old before. He's growing too fast. He's starting to read, write, comprehend, he's not as easy to fool. My emotions are out of control, first I'm in hysterical laughter then suddenly I'm drowning in tears about something. I like it much more when the boys take off their tops in P.E. and that scares me. I want a boyfriend, but I'm terrified of my family's reaction. Will I be ridiculed for my bad taste? So many questions, so little answers. Who would love me anyway? Nobody. I want him, then I don't, I want to try new things. I want to taste a drop of alcohol and see where that leads, I want to get in trouble but I can't make myself. Everybody would be so disappointed in me. Their perfect little angel, the no-problem child, the little-un with no issues, the helpful darling, daddy's little girl, mummy's little clinging sweety, that can all go out the window. What's wrong with me? Nothing. I'm just 13 going on 14.