invisible string

/ pluto projector

I could care less honestly. I love her too much to let her handle this alone. As long as she needs me, I'll keep running back to her.

Faint footsteps can be heard from the stairs.

"Why are you up, Ollie love? It's too early."

She rubbed her eyes and went for a hug.

"You weren't there beside me." I kissed her forehead and sat her down on my lap.

"You turned on my projector." She asked in confusion,

"It makes you feel safe, right love? So even if you're sleeping you'll feel like you're in your own little universe, with nobody harming you. Since I got up, I turned it on for you. So you won't feel alone." I explained to her.

Every time it happens, she forgets afterward. Its like it never happened.

I don't dare to remind her since that burden is enough for me to carry alone.

"Lev, you're a liar."

I was taken aback by the words she said.

"W-what do you mean, love?"

She paused for a second and looked at me seriously.

"It happened again, didn't it? I know what it really means when you turn that projector on."

My eyes widened. I didn't expect things to be this way. I don't want her to feel worse than she is.

"But you're okay now right? The projector helped. And everything is back to normal." I tried convincing her with my words but she seems doubtful.

"I'm sorry Lev, because of me. Because of me, you won't ever feel at ease."

I hugged her as if it was the last time.

"I feel at home when I'm around you."
I whispered while still holding her.

"But home is the place where you feel peace and comfort. I'm too much to handle, Lev."

Every time she speaks my name, only that becomes clear and everything just becomes white noise.

"Say my name again, Ollie."

She shook her head in disbelief.

"You're not taking this seriously, Lev."

There is it again. Butterflies in my stomach start flying around.

I don't care. Nothing can make me leave her.

"This right here feels like a honeymoon. When you say my name, nothing's changed."

I smiled widely at her.

"Ollie, my love. I don't think I'm meant to understand myself. But you do. I don't ever plan on leaving you. No matter how hard it gets"

I was expecting her to be reassured and secured by my words. But I guess it's not enough.

"You don't deserve me, Lev. Everything's a mess. Nothing makes sense. I'm holding on to you. But truthfully we both know, I don't deeply understand you. And I hate myself for that. You gave up so much to be with me. You did everything to protect me. And I- I can't even do that for you."

She bawled her eyes out and began shouting.

I tried my best to calm her down but nothing's working.

Is this our downfall?

I used all my might to keep her from hurting herself and carried her back to our room.

She laid in bed, holding herself. Crying.

I closed the door and slid down.

Nothing's changed.

"Ollie, love. You don't need to understand me now. Maybe in time, maybe one day."

It doesn't have to be now.

I got up and laid beside her.

"I'll do the same as you. I'll try and hold it up. Soon I hope. Or soon as I'm old enough." She tried to say as her sobs kept her from doing so.

And that's all I need I need to hear from you, Olympia, Ollie, my love.

I kissed her passionately and held her hand.

Now words can explain how much I love this girl.

"I'll wait for you. No matter how long."

She fell asleep again.

Ollie, stay forever.

I might be strong in front of you, but

You know more than anyone.

It's you that knows my darkness.

Because before everything happened,
before we were put in this situation,
You stayed by me. You never gave up.

It's my turn now.

You will probably forget about everything that happened today when you wake up

but now,

Let's just lay here under the shining lights of the stars and planets produced by the pluto projector.

the end.

-1.1k words.