All Things Nice » Band of Brothers

30: Irises

"I'm sure it was hard," John replied. "I've heard paratroopers are some of the best."

Her heart swelled with pride, though she tried not to let it show. She was part of that. Of 'some of the best'. When had she ever been counted as among the best in anything? A hand came up to fiddle with her expert marksman badge absentmindedly, and a smile tugged at her lips. Somehow, the military hadn't been so bad for her so far.

"Anyway," she said, not wanting to be taken for juvenile should John notice the traces of pride still lingering on her face, "where is Daniel? Your wireless operator?"

John shrugged. "Haven't seen him. He's in a different ward - not an officer, is he. But one of the nurses did some digging for me and told me he was here. I didn't ask any more questions than that."

"What about the rest of your crew?" Posey knew she shouldn't be asking but she was too curious. She knew his navigator, Henry, was his best friend. He'd come back from his first few months of training gushing about him, just before Posey had been evacuated. She couldn't imagine the sadness he must have felt if he'd lost his best friend.

John coughed once and then cleared his throat. His eyes took on a vacant look, something glazing over the surface and making him appear farther away than he was. It was a few moments before he replied, "Missing," in a voice barely above a whisper. Immediately, he cleared his throat again and said louder, "Missing. Somewhere in France."

"Occupied France?" Posey asked, her own voice quieter than she'd intended.

"All of France is occupied now," John replied irritably. "No more Free Zone. Surely they know that over in America?"

Posey shook her head as though to clear it. "No. Right. Of course."

John carried on speaking as though she hadn't spoken. "Of course that means they're as good as dead now, anyway. The Nazis are offering civilians a lot of money to turn downed airmen in, and with the conditions over there you can hardly blame 'em for doing it. So it's just Daniel and me now."

"Don't say that," Posey said, hoping to inject more confidence into her words than she felt. "I'm sure there are at least a few people who'd want to help. French people don't like the Nazis, after all."

"But they like starvation even less, I should think."

A heavy pause settled over them. Posey didn't know what to say - it was clear John knew a lot more about the war than she did, and arguing with him for the sake of optimism was only seeming to prove her naïveté. John, for his part, seemed to be stuck in his own head. He stared straight ahead as if having forgotten she was sat there at all.

Abruptly, into the silence, Posey spoke, "I want to say goodbye to mum." She surprised both herself and John with the words.

"What?"

"A proper goodbye," she said. "Do you reckon they'd let you out of the hospital for a bit?"

"Probably not, no."

Posey sighed but forced a smile. "Then we'll do it here." Her smile became watery and she forced back the sting of tears. She found she'd become rather good at doing that. "I think we need to say a proper goodbye to her. Together."

To her surprise, John looked at her and nodded. "Okay."

"Really?"

"I'm allowed out once a day, and usually they take me out back into the gardens. They're rather nice. We could go there."

Posey nodded, feeling overwhelmed by emotion all of a sudden. Sadness and longing and nostalgia and love. Maybe he was still the brother she remembered, just hardened a little bit.