cause you said forever

1

i apologize for any mistakes!

this has been in the drafts for too long so im uploading it. enjoy reading!

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i got my drivers license past week
just like we always talked about

The promised roadtrips with each other, visiting places they wanted to see and spend the night with. It's such a waste to throw it all away.

'cause you were excited or me
to finally drive up to your house

Listening to songs while driving never gets old. Moonbyul always thought to herself. Recent events made her re-think her judgement. Is it time to stop? Would she feel better by doing that?

but today i drove through the suburbs
crying 'cause you weren't around

Would she forget her? Is that even possible?

and you're probably with that blonde girl
who always made me doubt

Putting the car to a stop, she tears her focus on the road and took a glance at the house across the street. Hyejin's house. Tightening her grip on the steering wheel, Moonbyul took a deep breath.

Lights are out. Meaning, she's not inside. Probably with Wheein.

That hurt.

yeah, today i drove through the suburbs
'cause how could i ever love someone else?

She suddenly starts the car, leaving the place. It was not a good idea after all, how could she think it was, earlier? All it would do is to bring back memories that are still fresh, memories that would just bring pain to herself.

and i know we weren't perfect but i never felt this way for no one
and i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that im gone

Hyejin smiling at her the day before flashed in her mind. Acting like nothing happened. Joking with her friends, eyes filled with happiness like she never cried a few days ago with her.

And there it is. The pain in her heart. Moonbyul remember looking away, her mind full of questions.

Did she ever care about me?
How can she move on that fast?
Did she even love me?

If it wasn't for Seulgi calling her name, Moonbyul would've cried right at the spot, in the middle of the cafeteria filled with students.

--

and all my friends are tired
from hearing how much i miss you, but
i kinda feel sorry about them
'cause they'll never know you the way that i do

"And also, remember Valentines last year? She took me on a date and it was one of the best day I had! I felt really loved. She made me feel like I was on the clouds." Moonbyul shares, earning pity glances to her way, "All those hugs, kisses and gifts we shared, I will treasure them until the day I die. That's how precious it was to me."

Yongsun hugged her, letting her head lay down on the older woman's shoulder as she go on and on about how amazing is Hyejin to her.

Wait, no. Was. Past tense.

Seulgi smiled sadly at her.

It felt good to let feelings out and telling these to them. Moonbyul's friends never knew her relationship with Hyejin all these time because they hid it, which she protested at first but forgot through the ride.

She didn't tell them about the intimate moments they shared. The sweet I love you's, star gazing while talking about their life, building a future together.

It seems impossible to make them true now though.

-----

A red light. Sighing as she relaxes in her seat, Moonbyul closes her eyes.

Even in this car, she sees Hyejin. Holding her hand while she sleeps on the passenger seat, excusing that she's tired from the school activities she have done for the day.

The same Hyejin who would chuckle when she scrunches her nose, mumbling a "so cute" under her breath.

Hyejin who would stare at her lovingly for a few minutes before waking her up, saying they have reached their destination.

Hyejin never knew that she was just pretending to sleep all this time. Moonbyul never once regretted doing that.

i still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing
over all the noise

She would squeal in her room when she remembers what Hyejin did while she was "asleep". It was enough for her to know that Hyejin loves her, even though not many people knew about them.

It was one of the things she hold unto. An evidence just incase she would doubt their hidden relationship.

Until Hyejin broke up with her last week.

god im so blue, know we're through
but i still fuckin' love you, babe

Moonbyul felt a tear roll down her eye, it still hurts. Seeing the woman you love cry in front of you, saying she's leaving your side because she can't please you.

All Moonbyul asked was for Hyejin to introduce her to her parents.

That was all. Is it that hard? What was the reason, Moonbyul might never know.

And it ended with them breaking up.

Loud horns startled Moonbyul, who glanced at the traffic lights, which indicated the color green. She washes her tears away with her hand, all while trying to focus on the road.

Moonbyul didn't know what came over her when she took a u-turn, heading to Hyejin's house once again. What is she expecting? For Hyejin to be running to her, saying she wants to get back together?

Maybe.

----

Hyejin was outside. With Wheein, as she guessed earlier. They are making their way to the house, carrying shopping bags.

She sees Wheein put her arm around Hyejin, hugging her tight. Wheein who kissed Hyejin's cheeks. The pain came back. Moonbyul clutched her heart.

She turns on the engine of her car, and speed off as fast as she can. Moonbyul can't stand watching her ex-girlfriend being with another woman who made her jealous while they were still together.

cause you said forever
now i drive alone past your street

What Moonbyul didn't see was Hyejin staring at her car passing by, a longing glance as she spots Moonbyul at the driver's seat.

"Moonbyul?" Wheein asked, in which Hyejin nodded, "will you chase her?"

Hyejin shakes her head, "No. She deserves better Whee. Someone who is brave enough to proudly shout all around that Moonbyul is their girl. I know I can't do that."

"Suit yourself Hyejin. You'll regret it."

"Don't. Please."

"So you're just going to let her think we're together? That's stupid!"

The black haired woman sighed, "It's better that way."

----

im sorry 🫶🏼