Down For The Count

Closure

"And...I'm so sorry." Paisley said, putting her hand up to her mouth to muffle the cries that were coming out. "I'm sorry that I can't stop being sad, but...I miss her so much, Dad."

I couldn't help but smile a little because wow that name really never gets old.

But I quickly frowned as I came back to the gravity of this situation, realizing that now was not a happy moment at all.

"And...and these nightmares! They happen every night, and all she does is yell at me and I can't get her to stop! And then...I wake up and try and text her because I forget that she's really...that's she's really...I'm so stupid." Paisley let out a groan of frustration as she cried.

"You're not stupid, P." I tried to reassure her, but she wasn't hearing it.

"I am. Why can't I just...grasp that she's gone. She's never coming back. Why do I keep thinking that she will?"

"Maybe you're not at peace." I suggested, Paisley frowning. "Maybe you need closure."

"Closure?"

"I mean...you never saw her get buried, we left before the actual funeral happened. What if you need to see her buried as...as a final closure?"

The idea could either be the best thing I've ever thought of or the worst, and I had no clue which way we were leaning towards.

"You mean...we go see her? At the cemetery?" Paisley clarified, and I nodded in confirmation.

"For closure."

"Closure." Paisley whispered out, furrowing her eyebrows as she seemed to think the idea over. "I think...I want closure."

"Yeah? Should we go then?"

"Not yet." Paisley shook her head, wiping at her eyes as she continued to sniffle. "I need a little more time, I'm not ready yet."

I only nodded, understanding her wanting to settle down a little bit.

"I'm not trying to push you into anything, you can definitely just lay in here if you want to...but I prerecorded last night's Disney sing-along marathon." I suggested, Paisley immediately letting out a soft laugh.

"The Disney sing-along? Meant for literal children?"

"Woah, woah, woah. Do not shame Disney sing-alongs." I said firmly, happy to see the girl let out another quiet laugh. "I'm starting in five minutes. Should I be expecting you?"

"Yeah...I think so." Paisley said quietly, so I took her cup of tea for her, telling her it would be waiting for her in the living room.

It was a few minutes before Paisley actually did come into the living room, sitting down on the couch and wrapping a blanket around her tightly as she shivered.

I hate always seeing her so cold, especially in July. Hopefully Cup, Plate, Bin can give us some improvement, because I don't know what's going to happen when it gets to be winter. The girl's going to be a block of ice.

I shook the thoughts however, beginning the much anticipated movie marathon.

We started off strong with The Little Mermaid, something that I seemed much more into than Paisley was.

It wasn't that she didn't like it, because sometimes I would look over and Paisley was smiling at the movie.

But after a while her expression was blank, and it was evident that she was deep in thought, her mind anywhere else but focused on the movie.

It wasn't until we were halfway through The Lion King that she finally spoke up and gave me a glimpse into her brain.

"Dad?" I heard her ask quietly, and I gave her my full attention. I watched as her eyes were on her hands in her lap, tugging at them. "What...what exactly does closure entail? Am I supposed to say something?"