Dean X Reader Imagines 2

Late (Dean X Reader)

"Now he is out with her, kissing her, touching her, telling her that he loves her and I'm just sitting here thinking what would it be like if that were me" I say
"No, don't do that. That's the worse thing you can do to yourself right now" he says
"There is not a day that passes that I don't think of that. But she is prettier, right? Perfect body, face, always neat while I'm too lazy to even blowdry my own hair. No wonder why he prefers her" I say
"Maybe it will be better if you told him" he says
"No, he's already taking his shot with her" I say and I drink again
"And I bet you told him to do that, didn't you?" he asks
"He deserves to be happy and if she's the one to do it then I'm gonna have to accept it" I say
"And you don't deserve to be happy? What was it that you told him? Oh yeah 'You should do what will make you happy. Sometimes it may not work out but--" he starts to repeat what I said earlier
"Stop" I say
"...life is short and you should make the best of it' " he says ignoring me. "Why don't you take your own advise?" he asks but I don't answer.
"Because I know that I can't have what makes me happy. But sometimes I wonder why can't I have that? Why can't I be happy? What did I do so wrong to deserve that much pain and hurting?" I ask as more tears roll down my cheeks
"You did nothing wrong. You are doing the best you can every single day" he says rubbing my back
"Well, the universe doesn't seem to agree. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle those feelings anymore because they get bigger and worse everyday" I say still fighting to keep myself together and not cry.
"You can't keep burying those feelings. You need to talk about it. You even need to let yourself cry for once" he says and I shake my head
"I'm not... Goodnight Sam" I say and I leave the kitchen.

But as soon as I left the kitchen, I heard the front door. All this time since Dean left, I had this pain in my chest and now it started to get worse. It was like something heavy was on my chest and I knew exactly what was coming. I walk slowly to my room holding my chest but I come across Dean. "Hey (Y/N), I left my phone somewhere. Can you call me for a sec?" he asks without looking at me yet but I ignore him and I keep walking. But it was getting worse really fast and I wasn't sure if I'd make it to my room. I couldn't breath so I started pulling the collar of my t-shirt away from my neck and I kept doing my best to keep walking. "(Y/N)?" Dean asks but I keep ignoring him. My hands started shaking and my chest was getting heavier. "Hey, hey--" he says and walks to me "Don't touch me" I say shaking and still pulling on the collar of my t-shirt nervously.

I couldn't control my breathing and I fighting with my t-shirt because I couldn't breathe. "Get this off. Get this off of me" I say
"Ok ok ok" Dean says immediately and rips the collar of my t-shirt open a little bit so I could breathe. I lay my back against the wall and I let myself slide on the floor. I wanted to tell him to leave because I didn't want him to see me like this but I was feeling too tired to speak. I still couldn't control my breathing and I started crying. Dean sits next to me and wraps his arm around me. "You're ok. Everything will be alright" he says "This is gonna pass and everything will be alright. Because it will pass. You don't have to be scared. I'm right here with you. You just focus on your breathing and everything will be fine. I'm here with you and I'm not leaving" he says holding my hand and squeezing it with all his strenght.

Seconds seemed like hours but I was finally able to control my breathing again. "That's it. You got this" he says as he notices that I'm coming back. He starts rubbing my back
"I'm sorry" I say as I was trying to calm down
"Don't apologize. This is not your fault" he says looking me in the eyes
"Thank you" I say with tears in my eyes
"Anytime" he says and wraps his arm around me letting me lay my head on him. I was getting really dizzy and it was like the whole place was spinning. Out of reflex I put my hand down to rely on but it accedentally landed on Dean's leg. The second I realized, I tried to take it away but he put his on top, holding mine. "It's ok. Just close your eyes until it stops. I'll be right here" he says and I do.

"Feeling any better?" he asks and I nod. "Good. I know that you are feeling extremely tired right now and you probably don't even have the strenght to stand up so is it ok if I take you to your room?" he asks and I nod again. "Ok, let's go" he says and slides his one arm under my knees and the other around my waist. He picks my up and carries me in bed. He walks to the other side of the bed and lays down next to me.
"What are you doing?" I ask
"I'm staying with you tonight" he says
"But you have plans. You should go. I'm going to be fine" I say
"My plan right now is to stay with you until I'm sure that you are ok" he says. He hugs me and holds me tight. I could literally feel his heartbeat against my ear. He kept stroking my head and I couldn't get enough of it or his scent.

The next morning, I was still in his arms. None of us moved. I open my eyes and I meet his "Good morning" he says
"Good morning" I say
"How are you feeling?" he asks
"Better. Thank you" I say
"Do you want to talk about last night?" he asks
"No" I say shaking my head and I look down since I felt the tears form in my eyes
"That's alright. We can do that later" he says and I nod. For a bit none of us talked and I kept looking down trying to blink away the tears but the truth is that I couldn't.
"It was really bad. It was one of the worst if not the worst one yet" I say as a few tears escape my eyes
"One of the worst? It happened before?" he asks
"I'm sorry" I say
"It's ok. I just wish you had told me or Sam" he says
"I didn't want to worry you. You both have enough on your heads" I say
"No, you and Sam are always a priority to me. Always. Promise me that you'll let me know from now on" he says and I nod.

"I love you Dean" I say out of the blue
"What?" he asks immediately
"I'm in love with you. I've always have been. I know that Lisa is in the middle and I'm asking you to do anything but I thought that I should finally get it out of my chest" I say
"Uhm... Woah... First of all Lisa and I have broken up a few months ago" he says
"What? You didn't tell me anything" I say
"I didn't think that it was important" he says
"Then wait, who were you talking to me about yesterday?" I ask sitting up straight.
"I was talking about a very beautiful girl that I have fell for a long time ago. But I thought that she is better without me so I tried to move on from her because I didn't want to get attached and eventually hurt. The truth is that I can't find another one like her no matter how much I try. She is truly the best at everything. But she is also the girl who last night scared me so much... I was terrified when I saw her on the ground because I haven't seen her like that before and I really hadn't told me about her panic attacks so that I could help her. Because all of us have our bad days and I want to help her get through them and make her understand that it's ok to ask for help sometimes. Remind her that she is not alone" he says
"And I bet she loves you even more now for that and she wishes you said something sooner" I say
"Me too" he says rubbing my cheek. "I love you" he says looking me in the eyes
"I love you too" I say and he kisses my lips softly .