Hate myself (Neville Longbottom x reader)

Chapter 14- Dumbledore's Army

Umbridge was quite good at ruining our fun. Her stubby nose was in everyone's business. There were so many new  "educational decrees", it was difficult to keep track. She stopped any games or music from being played at all during 'study hours.' Wands were confiscated, sweets, and "uneducational items" were banned altogether, and we weren't allowed to discuss the "upsetting events of last year." There were rumors going around about how she was doing her best to criticize and fire the teachers at Hogwarts. She Measured Flitwick's height, called Trelawney a fraud, and even ridiculed Snape for not getting the DADA position (though I don't think people hated her for that one).

I was sitting in Umbridge's class, making sure not to question anything in the fear of getting detention again. Neville was holding my hand under the desk as he read. It helped both him and I stay calm and made him happy, so we did it often. However, we should've known better than to hold hands during her class. She used a very obvious spell to separate us and made sure our classmates could see. "Educational Decree Number Twenty-Six, boys and girls are forbidden from being within six inches of each other," she smiled at us. We both embarrassingly looked down and tried ignoring the giggles of some of the students around us.

"I'm so sorry, y/n, I embarrassed you during class!" Neville frowned as we walked through the corridors to Transfiguration. I held his hand again and said, "Don't worry about her or anyone else, they don't matter." He seemed to relax a bit.

...

At our dorm room, Hermione told me she had arranged a meeting in the Hog's Head for anyone who wanted to learn actual Defense Against the Dark Arts and that she wanted me to come. I thought about it for a moment and realized it would be a good idea as we were practically learning nothing in Umbridge's class. The next day I told Luna about it, and she agreed to come with me.

"Um, hi," Hermione started, "So, you all know why we're here. We need a teacher. A proper teacher. One who's had experience defending themselves against the Dark Arts." We were in a cold empty room at the back of the Hog's head. I sat near Neville, Ginny, and Luna. People were questioning Hermione and Ron was at her defense. A few were asking for details of Cedric's death, which made Cho visibly uncomfortable. Luna asked Harry if it was true he could produce a Patronus. Hermione answered for him, "Yes. I've seen him do it." Dean was bewildered. Neville wanted to add in as well, "And he killed a basilisk, with the sword in Dumbledore's office." I smiled at him after he said it and agreed along with Ginny, "It's true." Harry turned down all the compliments and disagreed with Hermione when she said he was being modest," Facing this stuff in real life is not like school. In school, if you make a mistake, you can just try again tomorrow. But out there... when you're a second away from being murdered... or watching a friend die right before your eyes... You don't know what that's like." I held Neville's hand tight. I knew neither of us was in danger of dying, but I couldn't help but feel scared.

 In the end, there was a line for signing up to join "Dumbledore's Army" (the name we came up with for the group.) We were to come up with ideas for where we would meet. 

 I was walking to the common rooms with Neville. "Are you okay?" I asked him after noticing his silence. He nodded. What is he thinking about?  We kept walking in silence until Crabbe and Goyle thought it was a good idea to shove him aside in the middle of the corridor. "Watch where you're going, Longbottom!" They snickered and high-fived. I scowled at them as they walked away and sneakily placed the leg-locking curse on them both. He glanced at them and thanked me. 

After turning the corner, we passed by a wall which began forming into a door. I didn't notice it until Neville went back and stopped at it. We entered into a spacious room, perfect for the D.A, and heard Hermione behind us, "You guys did it, you've found the room of requirement!" Neville smiled slightly and seemed sort of proud of himself. He glanced at me for a moment and I smiled back, sort of a way of saying We really did that. 

A few days later, it was decided we'd meet in the Room of Requirement, and so began Dumbledore's Army training. Our first task was to learn the disarming spell, Expelliarmus. I was eagerly waiting in line with Luna for our turns. Neville was up first. I was hoping he would get it the first time, but obviously, no one really gets anything quickly, so he failed. Instead of disarming the test dummy, he disarmed himself.  His wand flew all the way to the back of the room and almost hit Nigel My heart shattered after his face dropped and he uttered, "I'm hopeless." Harry tried reassuring him and told him what he did wrong. After the meeting, I hugged him tightly and whispered, "It's alright. We can practice later in the common room, alright?" He seemed determined to learn how to do it, so we spent about 2 hours practicing together. He managed to not disarm himself in the end and I clapped for him, "Well done! See, now there's some improvement there, just don't give up." He sighed and smiled slightly, "Thanks, y/n. I really appreciate the help." I pecked him on the lips quickly and said, "It's really not a problem. We can try again tomorrow if you'd like." 

We were in the Room of Requirement again the next day. Harry had us lined up in two rows facing the middle where he would speak. "Stunning is one of the most useful spells in your arsenal," he explained, "It's sort of a wizard's bread and butter, really. So um, come on then Nigel, give it your best shot." Nigel stepped up and yelled, "Stupefy!" Both he and Harry were knocked back a few feet. "Good. Not bad at all."

We mixed for a bit and spoke with who we would want to go up against. Neville immediately asked me to which I agreed. "Please go easy on me.." he whispered. I nodded covertly. Ron and Hermione chose to go against each other and were up next. Hermione immediately shouted, "Stupefy!" and knocked Ron back at least 2 meters.  He walked back slowly next to Fred and George, who had apparently had a bet with each other. It was clear Fred won that bet. "I let her do that," Ron lied, "It was completely intentional." 

 Neville seemed nervous after seeing how far Ron was thrown. When it was our turn, he looked at me as if to say Please don't hurt me. We stood apart and had our wands at the ready. Almost instantly, I felt my feet lift off the floor. I was flung across the room and hit my back on the hard floor. "Wow," I heard Harry say, "Good job, Neville." I got up gradually and noticed Neville running towards me, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? D-did I hurt you?" he was awfully scared he had injured me in some way. "No, no, I'm fine." He reached out his hand to help me up and hugged me, "I'm sorry!" When he realized almost everyone else was staring at us, he let go and blushed profusely. I heard a few giggles from the crowd but chose to ignore them. 

...

"You did great today, Nev," I told Neville while we sat alone in the common room. He was silent. "Neville? You alright?" He looked at me disappointingly, "I really didn't. When I knocked you back, I felt bad and lost control, and fell back myself. I'll never be as good as you or Hermione or Harry or even Ron." I frowned a little while trying to decide what to say to him. "Come here," I ked, "lay your head." He looked a little surprised, "Wh-what?" I repeated myself and patted my lap, "Lay your head." He slowly did what he was told. I began playing with his soft fluffy hair and smiled, "Listen. You, Neville, are quite honestly the sweetest boy I have ever met. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Stop doubting yourself all the time." He looked a bit teary-eyed as I continued along, "I don't know if anyone has ever told you this, but I'm so proud of you. So, so proud. You're doing so well, it's really astounding." I kept playing with his hair without realizing he was practically crying, "You remind me of- oh my gosh, are you crying?" He got up and faced the other way so I wouldn't see him rubbing the tears out of his eyes, "No-I'm fine, just dust in my eye." I cupped his cheek and made him look at me, "I really mean all of that, okay? You can cry, I don't mind." He smiled with his wet eyes and said, "You remind me of a tulip. Delicate, but firm, you know? You also smell good. Not-not that I smell you, your scent is just noticeable. In a good way, really." I giggled at his comments. He's so cute. "...Can-can I do something?" he stammered after a minute of silence. "Oh, of course!" I answered, not expecting anything. He leaned in hastily and kissed me gently on my lips. It lasted for a moment longer than our usual kisses, which sort of made me flustered. "Well, um, goodnight, tulip. If you don't mind me calling you that.." I shook my head and stared at him, "Oh, no, not at all. Goodnight, then." He went up to his dorm, leaving me happily swimming in my thoughts. I love that boy.

a/n: ah, young love. very cute. correct any mistakes please! also, have a wonderful day/night. :)