started with a dare | NORENMIN

19 | RETURN

"i'm sorry," was the first thing he said. "for everything. for telling you what to do, for losing my temper, for losing control, for demanding an answer from you, everything. i had no right to do that."

a sigh escaped from renjun's mouth as he walked closer to jeno and grabbed his hands, holding them softly. "i'm sorry, too, for provoking you into it and frustrating you futher by not answering your questions."

the guilt had been eating up at the chinese male for being the reason for jeno's absence. their fight caused him to leave the dorms and return only to see his two roommates kissing, and it didn't help that neither renjun nor jaemin nor anyone else had heard a word from the brown haired male while he was gone, making the chinese feel even more guilty of it.

but the guilt he felt vanished upon seeing that the taller was okay, and hearing his apology made renjun show a small smile.

however, that was only renjun. jeno, on the other hand, still felt extremely guilty for everything. he felt that an apology wasn't enough to make up for him lashing out at the older male or leaving without saying a word to him. lowering his head, the brown haired boy felt tears pricking his eyes as he heard the other's soft voice and felt his hands in his. it was as if renjun was his coping mechanism for his frustration, and he couldn't believe he left that behind.

silence surrounded the two boys, one of them starting to let a couple tears fall from his eyes while the other wiped them away with a soft touch of his hands. any outside party witnesses would believe that the two were boyfriends, with one comforting the other. but that wasn't the case at all.

and with the surrounding silence came a moment for the two boys to let their thoughts run around and tell them what to say next. and because of that, the silence was annoying. it was a bother to them since they had to fill it in somehow.

both renjun and jeno had so many words to say, but they were either too scared to say them or unsure of how to engender the topic. eventually, once some time passed, renjun began to speak first.

"jeno," the chinese male called out first, catching the taller's attention. the brown haired male lifted his head to look at the other and gave him a look, asking what he wanted to say,

"do you like me?" the chinese asked directly, catching jeno off guard with the question.

visibly gulping without renjun noticing, jeno's eyes slightly widened. the brown haired male hoped that the other didn't notice, but to his dismay, the chinese did. the shorter just didn't say anything about it, making jeno think that his action went unnoticed.

"of course i do," jeno said, before continuing on to add something more to it. "you're a really great friend."

shaking his head, the red haired male dismissed jeno's comment, since it wasn't what he was talking about, and gave the taller a look. "you know that's not what i'm talking about."

and that's when jeno knew that he had been caught, although it wasn't one hundred percent sure, yet. all he knew was that the older male wasn't joking around and was talking seriously about this topic, making jeno want to avoid it even further.

"i... don't actually know what you're talking about. how else can i like you other than a friend?" jeno asked. he knew he was denying everything, he knew it straight up. and the brown haired male knew he shouldn't be doing this.

but he couldn't. he couldn't find it in himself to confess, not after they had just reconciled after their argument, and certainly not after jeno had a better grip on his emotions. he just couldn't do it.

and the brown haired boy now knew how jisung felt when he bailed to confess to chenle last year. the fear of losing him, the fear of losing everything they just fixed, it was unbearable to jeno. the scared feeling inside overtook him and now, he was in denial of everything to renjun.