A Troubled Mind

1

January 5th, 2021, 17:04

3 years ago

"How can you do this?"

Janus looked at Virgil, who was holding a travel bag. Janus couldn't believe he was about to lose him to the others.

"I'm not doing it because I want to! I have no choice but to go, we've talked about this, many times," Virgil said. Deceit sighed. "We can figure it out! Stay here. Please?"

When virgil told janus about his plans to move out from the dark sides' mindscape, he didn't think virgil would actually go through with it. It was Virgil's specialty, wondering whether or not he was where he "needed to be", Janus always ready to reassure him whenever needed. But not this time, it seemed; here Virgil was, ready to leave him.

"I'm doing this to help Thomas!"

"I don't think so. How is getting away from us going to benefit him?"

"I'm not doing this solely to screw you over! Why are you only thinking about yourself?" Virgil snapped.

"Virgil, you are being so unreasonable right now! I am not! I'm Thomas' self preservation, my literal job is to look out for him! What are you talking about?"

Virgil stared at him. "No, it's not." Janus narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Your job is to get thomas to act selfishly and then manipulate him so he thinks he did the right thing! You're denial." Janus couldn't believe what he was hearing. Never, in all of their time together, had Virgil expressed any thoughts similar to these. "I can't stay with you guys, I need to surround myself with genuine people... People that bring out the better in me."

Virgil cursed himself inwardly. He felt like he sounded like an inspirational quote you'd find on a shitty instagram page. He never had been good with words and he hadn't meant the sentence that just left his mouth.

Virgil hadn't told Janus about these concerns he'd been having lately for a reason. This exact reason. He knew he couldn't tell him without offending them and possibly ruining everything they had built up. Although he now realised he was, quite plainly, already doing that.

Janus turned around, unwilling to show how much Virgil's statement hurt him. "Wait!"

Virgil tried to grab Janus' arm, but the latter snatched his arm away from him. He walked away, seemingly calm, but trembling all over. So that's what he thinks of us. After all we have done for him.

Virgil stood in the doorway for several minutes, desperately hoping janus would turn around and assure him that everything was fine, like he had done many times before. But the dimly lit hallway remained empty. He was already regretting all of his actions of that day.

Still, eventually he turned around and left. He supposed there was no going back now.

Remus was sitting on the floor of his room when he heard a small knock.

"C'me in, I guess."

To his surprise, a shaking, fragile Janus walked in. "what the fuck happened to you?"

Janus said nothing. He sat down next to Remus and stared at a spot on the wall for three minutes before quietly saying "He hates us, Rem..."

Remus didn't know what to say. He was never one for encouraging words anyway, so Janus didn't really mind. They sat like this for a while, then Remus tried to reassure him to the best of his ability. "Why care about that emo kid? We didn't need him anyway."

Janus lifted his head. He was about to respond but changed his mind.

No, not at all. Of course janus didn't need Virgil, someone he knew through and through and had trusted with everything he had.

His first love.

Why would he care?

A/N

Was that good enough? This has been in my notes for six months, and today I finally worked up the courage to post it. I am aiming for longer chapters, though. 

Thank you for reading!