•͟U͟N͟D͟E͟R͟S͟T͟A͟N͟D͟ ͟c͟a͟r͟t͟i͟u͟z͟i͟•͟

V

Rakim nodded once again. "Well, um," I began to stammer, "I, uh, I've found someone I think I like." Rakim's face lit up, as he started to hop up and down in his seat, something he usually did when he got excited, "OOOOOOOO LEMME SEE HER!" Rakim started to yell.

I stopped, and Rakim noticed. "Is everything alright, Sy?" he asked, calming down. I blushed internally at how he had called me that. While I would never want to pull Rakim out of his extremely stable relationship, and I would never date him, just for the sole purpose of our friendship, I won't lie, he was definitely cute, and his voice was indeed sexy.

"Fuck," I thought to myself, "don't think about Rakim like that."

"Symere," Rakim worriedly asked while shaking me, "come on buddy, you're worrying me." It was at that moment that I fell into Rakim's arms and started to cry. He seemed shocked at first, but then he put his arms around me, patting my head. "It's ok, Sy, I'm here for you. She not like you back?" he asked.

I tilted my head up to face him, resting my chin on his chest. "It's n-not a-a sh-he" I studdered in between tears. While the look on Rakim's face changed, it still remained a look of shock. He began to smile, "Hey, Sy," he said, looking down at me as I began to look back at him, "I'm so proud of you for telling me. It takes a lot, I can tell. I'm honored to be trusted by you also. Am I the first person you've told?"

I nodded my head, burying my head back into his chest to continue crying. He seemed to hug me tighter, "It's okay, and once again I'm so proud of you," he continued, "but you gotta cheer up man, I hate seeing you like this." I kept my stubborn ass head there, not wanting to leave his comfort.

At first I thought it was going to work, and he'd just let me stay there, until I felt a sharp feeling in my sides. Yep, I should've known. I leaped backwards, laughing out loud, my tears of sadness now turning to tears of laughing too hard. "Look at that," Rakim said with a wide grin, "you're smiling now!"

Rakim had used my biggest weakness. For as long as we had known each other, Rakim has managed to find out just about everywhere where I was ticklish, and always managed to use it to his advantage. He reached over the center console and continued to tickle me on my sides, as I burst out laughing, flailing at his arms, and telling him to stop.

Eventually, he did, and looked at the time. "When'd you say you needed to be back home?" he asked. I looked at the clock displayed on the dashboard. 9:30 it read. "Ah shit, I gotta be home in 30." I informed him. To that, he started the car, and started the journey back to my house.

On the way back, Rakim asked, "So who is the guy you like?" I thought for a minute wether or not I should reveal his identity, but decided against it, since I had only just met him. "I don't wanna say, because I'm not really sure if he's straight or anything." Rakim looked towards me, "So you think he might be straight?" he asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing what to say. "I swear to god, if it's Miles or Sheyaa, or myself, imma kill you." Rakim laughed. I shuddered at hearing that, "Hell nah; you really think I'd date one of y'all?" I replied. Rakim laughed, "I just gotta see who this is someday. I gotta meet my son's mans."

I assured him that I would introduce him when the time was right. "Who else do you think you'll tell?" he asked. I actually hesitated on that question; I hadn't really thought about it. "I mean," I started, "I guess I'll tell Amala and Miles at some point. I'll tell Sheyaa too, but god knows what his response will be." Rakim laughed. "I guess I'll tell him at some point too, I just need to wait for the time to be right, I suppose." I continued.

We spent the rest of the ride home discussing various other things about my sexuality, like how long I'd known, or how I managed to pull through a 10 month-long relationship while knowing, all of which I answered to honestly. It honestly felt good to talk to someone about this, because if we're being real, I had never said anything about this out loud before. Most people would just go to Reddit or Quora or something for advice on this shit, but I just never felt compelled to. Besides, only weird people use Reddit, and Quora is a site for white moms with daughters who have daddy issues.

We pulled up to the curb outside my house just 5 minutes before my curfew. Before I got out, Rakim gave me a really big, warm, comforting hug. "Once again, little one, I'm so proud of you," he stated, "be whatever you want to be, you know I'll support you; unless you decide to be a rapist or something, because that's just fucked up. I love you, my child, not in a gay way, but you know what I mean." I nodded my head, and hugged back even tighter.

I was released from the iron grip of Rakim's hug after at least 45 whole ass seconds, and jumped out, as he sped off, in his usual fashion. I entered the house, in an even more relaxed state than before. Momma was watching TV in the living room, and I returned to my room after greeting her.

I dived back into my bed, like I did earlier, but not out of exhaustion like last time, but rather out of excitement.

"I get to be my real self now," I thought, "I can be me."