Imagine,

shes okay:)

you hate crying? why? i love crying, the feeling of my warm tears running down my cheeks. i don't see it as sadness. i'm not sure why. i love the feeling of my nose getting pink and stuffy and me having to wipe away snot just for it to come back. crying is like a distraction from all the other pain in your life. you may not notice. sometimes crying hurts, someone once told me it's okay to cry. it's not everyday you get a break from this stupid fucking world and get to cry the pain away, you still hate crying? she doesn't hate it. she loves it.

i know you've thought about laying in the street. i think about laying in the street. imagine laying in the street, feeling the cold pavement under your body. it's only you and the stars. you feel the wind rushing through the air and nearby cars passing but you are safe. you think about that sad song you cry 2. you feel so alive. feeling so free.

parties. imagine, you are at a party and there are so many lights that every turn you take you never see the same color. it reeks of cologne, sweat, and beer. this party is a bunch of teenagers who have no part of their shit lives together. divorced parents. toxic friends. they are all here for a reason and so are you. you are all looking to be numb of the pain, you pick up another cup and begin drinking your pain away. you've never felt so careless. you don't think about what's going to happen tomorrow. you don't think about how many missing assignments you have. you don't think about home. you just want to be there in the colors dancing to the loudest music.

imagine, it's a quiet morning, soft rain hits your window. you can hear it. you can't see it. from the second you heard the soft rain and the birds outside you knew. you knew it was going to be an amazing day. you weren't sad. and not for one second did you worry. the moment you woke up and got out of bed to see the rain you let your imagination be free. you allowed it to rest and let go.
only allowing good calm thoughts into that amazing head of yours,

have you ever thought about your future? those nights you and yourself went on and on about how amazing it would be? moving in with your besties, seeing the world, getting your dream job. it's great to be excited about the future. everyone will make it there, but not everyone will be by your side. there are things in life that happen, those things are either amazing, or just ruin everything. you have to motivate yourself to choose positive. i see my future planned out. now i wait, i'll wait for you too,

also these are just my late night thoughts i'm thinking about adding a new chapter every night or something yeah yeah