Prompt (from Reedsy): You thought he was dead, but there he is, right in front of you on the street, smiling at you.
Note: This is in no way a reflection of how the real Van is doing. This one's a sad but hopeful read.
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January 2020
I had high hopes for the year 2020, just like everyone else. I got to spend a whole month with me mum and dad, catching up on lost time and eating tons of good food. The time went by too fast—and before I knew it—it was time to go back to work. We had a European tour coming up at the end of January and Exhibition London after. I was itching to be on stage again.
I was a bit weary about traveling via aeroplane. I've been watching the news about a new strain of coronavirus in China but it seemed to stay in China for the most part. What worried me most was that it seemed serious, and I wasn't sure how long they'd be able to contain it for.
The band and I recorded a few songs in Sweden for the fourth album, and we planned to debut the new songs in the summer festivals we had lined up. We were planning to record our new album in the scheduled break between Exhibition London and the summer festivals.
The European tour went by quick but there weren't too many shows scheduled. It was 6 February and we were in Berlin, our last show. We could hear Ain't That a Kick to the Head coming to an end.
"And we're on!" Steve shouted. We all made our way towards the stage, Steve patting everyone on the shoulder as we passed by. "Good luck!"
"Thanks!" I shouted. I double-checked that I had everything on me one last time before walking on stage to the deafening roar of the crowd. I could never get used to that and I never wanted to.
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I just watched Prime Minister Boris Johnson announce that the UK is in a strict lockdown in an attempt to stop the spread of the coronavirus which had made its way to the UK. Several thousand people were infected and the number of reported deaths was in the hundreds. We were told it was only going to get worse and we had to do our part to limit travel to limit spread and exposure.
I watched as they stated the list of essential retail businesses staying open such as supermarkets, petrol stations, banks, the post office, and so on. Companies were encouraged to allow employees to work from home if possible, and financial support became available for businesses unable to open and people unable to work. I was relieved that we didn't have any gigs to reschedule in the coming months but I did worry about the summer festivals but they were still months away. I was hopeful that by then, the situation would be under control.
It didn't take long for me to be restless and absolutely bored. I didn't like staying home for so long; I felt trapped and hopeless. The band and I were supposed to record our fourth album but that was obviously put to a stop and I was gutted about it. I was looking forward to sharing my songs and I was excited about what they'd come up with to make the songs bigger and louder.
At first, I spent most of my time in the back garden or in the living room writing songs. I've always had tons of ideas floating in my head but never had the time to write it all down and now I had the time. I was churning out songs like nobody's business until I hit a brick wall. I was all out of ideas with no inspiration, being stuck at home. Most of my inspiration came from things I'd hear people say, whether it be from strangers, my parents, or my mates. I guess this is what I get for saying I don't get writer's block. I deserve it, don't I?
My sleep schedule had gone to shit. I wasn't sleeping as I was anxious about the whole situation. Everything was uncertain. The cases and deaths kept climbing and the lockdown kept being extended. Next to go was my mental health. Everyday I'd watch the news and it was so fucking depressing. I knew this virus was here to stay and it would be a while before things went back to normal. Steve was already calling me saying our summer festivals will have to be rescheduled. It was horrible but I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with the situation. Being numb and high helped temporarily, but as soon as the effects wore off, I'd feel like shit again.
