I stood there taking in my surrondings. I was at the park, I thought to myself. I looked around and saw a bench. The sky was a ominous black with only the moons light alight.
"Might as well" I said to myself with a sigh.
I started walking to the hard, cold bench when I felt a presence among me. I turned around to be greeted by some crisp leaves swaying in the air. I wish I could be like them. Free with no responsibilities or having to care about anything. But alas I was born human and shall stay human. I knew I should have stayed in Florida. England has been nothing but a soap opera.
I let out a long yawn as I started walking to the bench. I lay down hugging my clothes tighter to my body trying to keep warm.
Once I was done with my lame attempt to keep warm, I fell asleep.
_______________________
I woke up in a warm bed with the blanket on the floor and the pillows scattered everywhere. Where am I? The first thing that came into my mind was that I was kidnapped. But when I went to open the door it was unlocked. I walked out quietly but stopped when I heard voices from the tv. I peeked my head a little past the corner to see a head of blonde hair. Blondie over here let out a complain for food with a thick Irish accent. Niall. Oh gosh. I can't face him right now.
"Hazel....?" He asked. Crap.
"Louuuuuuuuuuuu?!" I called, to which he came skidding into the little area of bunks in the bus, and I beckoned him over with a hug. "Make Niall go away, PWEEEASE?" Words were exchanged, and Niall sighed and disappeared behind the wall. Louis climbed into my bunk so that we were laying side by side.
"You know he's just trying to help," he assured me.
"Let's do something today. Just you and me, Lou!" I suggested, and he smiled, wrapping me in a loose hug.
"Deal,"
"So wait, how'd I get here anyways?"
"Me and Liam brought you back,"
"Liam and I," I commented, and he stuck his tongue out, running away. Good thing Niall left. Even if the scars were weeks old and faded, I was so embarrassed. I could hardly face him before, and now I definitely can't. No way, no how. I climbed out from under my blankets and sneakily sprinted to the tiny bathroom on the tour bus. It will be soooo much easier to hide from people when I have my own room in the hotel were staying in tomorrow. I showered with a bottle of shampoo I grabbed blindly out of the cabinet, and slathered it onto my hair, massaging my scalp with my commandeered soap. I rinsed it out, feeling the bubbles slide down my back and into the drain. The foamy white bubbles swirled clockwise, and disappeared to who knows where they go on a bus. I hopped out, towelled off, and slipped on my chosen outfit of the day. I still wasn't comfortable with short sleeves, so I had chosen a comfy knitted oatmeal coloured sweater and my favourite jeans that fit just right. I applied a little scar cream to the areas that needed it. I'm really glad they're fading. I slipped on some coloured bangles that clinked when I moved my arms, which makes me happy. I emerged from the little cubicle bathroom, steam billowing out and adding to the effect of being a spy undercover.
"GOTCHA!" Harry screamed, running up and spinning me around in a hug. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" He screamed, mortified, and dropped me, looking me up and down checking for injuries like a nurse. That was the final straw.
"MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM!" I screamed, and heard scrabbling from all corners of the bus. I stalked into the big open room with Harry trailing behind me at my heels like a regretful puppy. Four boys had already arranged themselves onto one of the couches, Niall on the arm, slouched, and seeing him dents surge of emotions through me. Guilt, for making him like this, anger, for bringing that horrid witch into our close knit family, who awakened long buried feelings of hate within me. The anger was the strongest.
"Look. I am not made of glass. I will not break. I am not broken, physically or mentally. I am fine. I have stopped. And if another person freaks out about me, I will seriously consider anger management classes. I am okay, and if I'm not, I'll tell you. I promise. And when I promise something, I mean it. And I never, ever break that promise. Ever," and I meant it. Promises mean a lot to me. Louis stood up and linked arms with me, amd we left the bus together, descending into the English air.
"So, where to?" I asked Lou as he opened the door for me on a very nice car he'd probably rented.
"Who knows," he said smiling as he pulled out of the parking lot housing our mobile hotel.
"Food?" Food is seriously my favorite part of the day.
"Food!" He exclaimed and I laughed.
"Hey Lou, why was six afraid of seven? 'Cuz seven 'ate' nine!" I giggled and he released a roaring bout of laughter.
"I'll have to remember that one!" We pulled the fancy car into a cute little joint in downtown Cambridge, a family owned café with quaint red booths and wood paneled walls. Candles in braziers flickered along the walls and an elderly lady hobbled up to us and took our order. Lou and I chatted like normal. I knew if anyone would, it'd be Louis. Liam would be a mom, Harry overly sensitive, and Niall, well, I don't even think he'd talk to me. I still can't believe he wouldn't he couldn't see how much Claire was hurting me. And he egged her on like a proud parent on the sidelines of their child's athletic game.
"Hey Hazel, are you mad at Niall?"
"Yeah, I guess so,"
"I understand, wanna talk about it?" I shook my head no, and he nodded and smiled normally like it was totally okay with him. Maybe it was. We got our food, warm sandwiches and thick fresh made soup in ceramic dishes that were faded and chipped, but served their purpose.
"Lou, do you wanna go for a walk?" I asked after we'd finished, and had climbed into the car. He smirked and drove to a nearby little park down the street. We clambered out and found a foot worn little path through a patch of forest. We took some pictures on his phone, most of them goofy, and then took an equal amount on mine. We walked for a long time, and eventually I took his hand as we jumped over a log, but he didn't let go after he crossed it. He actually intertwined our fingers, my short ones fitting nicely into the hollows between his long pianist's fingers. I liked the sense of security I got with him even though we were constantly cracking jokes.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Louis asked me, and I thought for a moment.
"Maybe. I think I'd have to experience it to know if it was or not. Do you?"
"Yeah,"
"Where do you think we go after we die?"
"To heaven, what do you think?"
"I think, like the Buddhists, that our souls are recycled into new bodies after we die until we reach enlightenment. If that's so, I think I'll be here for a long time,"
"I hope I'll be here with you,"
"Me too," I replied softly. Where did that come from? We entered a clearing, and above us the sky was a shade of blue you'd never see on the clearest day in London. We lay down, a good three feet between us, only our hands touching across the space. I don't know what's going on, but I can't say I don't like it. We lay there for a little whole in pleasant silence. One stupid Irish boy kept swirling back into my thoughts, and I tried to push him away but he would cycle back eventually. I had so many feelings associated with him, that it overwhelmed me to think about it.
I haven't exactly had the best track record with boyfriends in the past. I either always mess it up, or they cheat on me, or they lie to me. A big no no with me. What if Niall broke my heart? What if I broke his? I couldn't take that.
"He wouldn't do that to you. Do what you think is right," Louis commented. Had I said all that out loud? "Yeah," crap, I did it again. Hopefully I can get my feelings for Niall under control. He doesn't even like me. I hate when girls say that, it sounds like they're vying for attention. It's true though. That's okay. I'm strong. Plus I have Louis and the other boys.
Niall who?
