Marked

What a Day...

"Nah." I only expressed, because that's the only thing I felt towards it now, it's just a rank and even if the equality rule isn't subjected here...I wouldn't care less "Don't you want to be part of the rank?" he pointedly gestures at me as he stops walking making me have a few steps in front of him.

I...really don't blame Singapore to assume like this, I turn back to him with a mellow smile.
"Your right, I want to be part of it but...I guess people change." I answered shortly but Singapore's face contorted a little in disappointment.
"you always dreamed about it, when we're still together in the lower rank...you always gush about it, always make plans for the bigger future and yet..." His words stammered as his movements and gestures.

"You left when you almost got to that point..." I only gaze at him mutely, I don't know what expression I'm wearing right now but the surprising emotion Singapore showed made me realize that I accepted the fact I failed that dream, "I don't want to be obsessed about the future and not see the small blessings I already have on my daily life." Even if I finally graduated from this green rank and get to be a blue ranker like I always want it to be, I will not blind myself about the future and not be thankful for what I have now.

Because It hurts knowing that you're in the far eventuality finally getting what you want yet...inevitably feel empty...
"I heard that you greeted Timor." Singapore was startled slightly that I change the subject "Of course, he's my partner after all." He cleared his throat trying to get back on his stern-looking side "But it doesn't mean I'll accept him...-" "yet." I cut him off making him groan a little knowing where this is going.

"Philip, you know I don't like people who don't work hard." I only chuckled at him as we started to walk again "I'm not hardworking." "Well, you used to and that made me respect you." I only shrugged, remembering Singapore not liking me much back then when we first joined the Administration.

"Than Timor deserves your respect." he was about to argue but I beat him to it "I know Timor, more than anyone in this administration next to Indo." I turn to him, concluded to make Singapore think at least a little differently "He is trying his best about wanting to be accepted, he works hard, his optimistic and determined... he might be a green first ranker but his hard work should not be ignored...He's a good kid Singa." My tone became soft not realizing that my pitch feels pleading a little.

Singapore opens his mouth slightly to say something but he closed it a little, not knowing how to respond to that. and eventually, he only sighs deeply, his hand sliding onto his hair in frustration yet in deep thought.
"Why do you always have to defend him from me?" I pursed my lips "Because we used to be like him, still striving for glory and stuff like that." Because it's true, we should not look down on people just because we're in higher standing.

I'm not a blue ranker but the system deems me more superior to him and...I found that shitty
"I know you know what it's like to be in his footsteps Singapore." Singapore only gazes at me until he sighs with a defeated smile "This is the reason why I don't like arguing with you." I grinned at him "Sorry not sorry." we stop when we're finally at our destination.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Singa." I bid him farewell as he returns the favor "You too Philip." and so we went our separate ways.
My gaze wanders around the sidewalk, seeing the small tiny rubbles on the ground and the patches of green grass.

The leaves from trees shield me away from the warm light above my hair, some leaves started to fall slowly by the wind.
Until I saw the Empty park, which it deems as my safe place now, but I halted my tracks when I saw a faint tall person sitting on the small walls dividing the river and land.

I squinted my eyes curious reminding myself this is a public park so I should not be like Shrek as if someone just waltzes into my swamp, I can't believe I just thought of this example.