The Twenty Year Itch

Part 6: The Storm

"You alright?" He sweetly asks.

"No....I'm not..." I cry and can barely breathe at the moment. "I just need to air..."

Pulling from him, I walk up the driveway- passing my friends and trying so hard to just stop my heart from breaking.

**Present Day- December 31st 2020**

Lockdown.

With the Virus still running rampant- I find that less and less I'm finding joy in my day to day.

It's not because I've been stuck in London since last March, and more to do with the fact that with every passing day- I feel more and more lost.

"Emma- are you even listening?" Shaking my head, I look at the monitor in front of me and find the three way conference between Bonnie, Evanna and myself is still taking place.

"Sorry...I was just....thinking." I'd been stuck in the past for quite some time it seems. Going over every detail of Tom and mine's falling out. We haven't spoken since that night and I have been tired of all the Instagram notifications of people tagging me in Tom's sweet serenades. The last thing I did on there was comment on the picture he drew of a duck in a hat riding a skateboard- obviously it was me and all I could muster was to write quack.

He never responded and it broke me.

"You've been spacey a lot lately. Is everything alright with you and Leo?" Evanna asks and I smile and nod.

We've been going out for a little over a year now and it's wonderful, but I keep slipping. At times when I'm asleep and his arms come around me and hold me close to his chest- I wake up dreaming it's Tom- only to turn over and find Leo there instead.

He's a great guy- don't get me wrong. I love him...but something doesn't feel quite right.

"So Tom hosted that Home Party back on the 26th. A lot of people signed on to watch. He talked to Jason and played some..." Evanna stops talking and looks down at a text. "I think 2021 will be better."

No doubt Bonnie texted her.

"How is he....by the way...." I mindlessly ask and both women look at me curiously. "Tom- how is he."

"Well, he...um...he posts on his page all the time. Does a lot of lives on Instagram. Seems to be fine." Bonnie's briefness makes me feel something major is going on.

"But how is he?" Neither of them say anything and both seem nervous. "Guys!"

"I ran into him the other day when he was walking Willow." Bonnie starts and drifts a bit. "He was smiling and laughing...but I could tell something was off about him. James and Oliver had him on their podcast the one day and one made a comment about him and you- Tom cut the feed and must've called them or something- because the video was clipped and when they came back it was almost like James and Oliver got talked too about it."

"So...he's not good?" I ask and sink more into my computer chair.

"I mean- Tom's a great actor...but I'm worried he's slipping- Em. All his videos seem cheery, but knowing Tom the way we do- I can tell he's not there. He's not himself."

"He hasn't been for a long time." Evanna chimes in. "And neither have you. Maybe...maybe new year- new you? Talk it out...maybe?"

"I agree. I hate seeing two bright bubbly people falling deep in despair. It's time you and Tom talk."

"He won't see me. He won't talk to me."

"Have you tried? Like really tried? Or have you been waiting for him to make the first move?" Bon looks at me sternly and I sigh deeply. "Stop pussy footing around and deal with it Em. You can't throw Twenty years of friendship down the tubes."

"Alright....I'll figure something out..."

"Good- let us know how it goes. If you need a place to stay in LA- let me know."

"Thanks Bon. By Eva." Signing off, I cover my face in my hands and when I let them down, I catch myself in the black computer screen. I look so miserable. My skin in dry, I have frown lines, my hair is dehydrated....I...I've allowed my break with Tom affect my body care.

"Hey, Babe! I'm home!" Leo.

Huh...

"In the den." I call and he comes walking in. Bending down, he kisses me and smiles. His long hair dangling on either side of his face and his beard tickles me.

"What's going on, pretty lady?"

"Just got off a zoom with Bon and Evanna."

"How are they?"

"Great." I can't tell him I'm going to go deal with Tom. He would never allow me. His jealous is the type that scares me slightly. He plays it off cool and then he'll pounce. "Bonnie asked me to come out and do a fun little video for a campaign she's putting together on feminism and other social matters."

I lie.

"Cool- when do we leave?"

"Well, it's more of a girls only trip... we're gonna start in LA and then probably hit a few other cities in California. Trust me- it's boring shit." He looks down at me and his jaw is clenched.

"Who all's involved with this campaign?"

"Me, Evanna, Cloris Leachman- Viola Davis, Bette White might pop in a bit. Sofia Vergara. Just a bunch of us. I was honestly surprised Bonnie asked me."

"Well, why wouldn't she ask you? You're beautiful. Smart. People love you. Besides- someone gorgeous needs to be the face of feminism. Get everyone talking." That hits me wrong.

"So you think only pretty women can be the face is feminism?" I bite slightly.

"Here we go again." He grumbles.

He and I fight more than boxers do. Something always sets him off and we end up yelling for half the night. I won't back down for him- especially if it's for something I believe in.

"I can't do this today. I can't." I get up and start walking away.

"Stop! You want to talk about it- then talk about it: if you're so passionate for that crap." Turning around I look at him and I honestly just want to punch him in the face for his arrogance.

"So women's rights are crap to you?" I bite.

"Shut up- that's not what I meant and you know it."

"You just said it was crap, Leo! Do I not have rights? Should I not be equal to you?" I stomp back to him and get in his face.

"You're being a bitch right now- that's what I know. Stop acting like you're oppressed and what not. Grow up!" He yells in my face.

"Women are just as equal to men. It's not a double standard. Just because you and every other misogynist think that we..."

SLAP!

Dropping to the floor, I hold my right cheek in my hand and feel the sting of where he back handed me begin to heat up underneath my hand.

"Don't fucking call me a misogynist and get in my face about your political bullshit- again- Emma. I'm sorry, but you did it to yourself." He stares down at me and then shakes his head before leaving. I don't know what hurts worse.

My arse.

Or.

My face.

Tears spring up into my eyes and I try to push them back down. Coming back down the hall to me, Leo helps me up and puts an ice pack on my face.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have hit you." He pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. "I promise it won't ever happen again...you just made me so angry."

There's a word for what just happened.

Though I don't want to think about it.

But I can't help it.