ALEX | a. hotchner (sequel to BLAKE)

20

I rummaged through the bottom drawer, desperately trying to find some aspirin, but my vision was blurry and I realized I hadn't even turned the lights on. I groaned once more before letting my body fall to the floor. I looked into the darkness, and that's when the hallucinations started. It was like the worst nightmare I'd ever had, but I was unable to wake up from it because I was already awake. All those bizarre ideas that make so much sense when I'm asleep, started to make sense with my eyes wide open. I stared at the ceiling until my eyes grew heavy, and I drifted off to sleep.

No nightmares.

***

Penelope didn't come home that night. I know she said she wouldn't, but some part of me still believed she'd come back. I had almost packed all of my things, all done in a day's work. In the next few days I'd have to face her, though, and the rest of the team, telling them it would be my last days on the team.

I opened the fridge, hoping to find something to eat for dinner, but nothing seemed appealing. The thought of eating the chicken we'd had for lunch the other day almost made me throw up. I quickly closed it again. I rubbed my eyes roughly, the pressure created beautiful patterns on the inside of my eyelids.

My eyes snapped open, my head turning to the sound of the doorbell. I held my breath, all I could hear was the beating of my own heart. I slowly walked to the door, not sure if I was ready to meet what was on the other side. Maybe she was ready to talk, but why didn't she use her key?

I looked through the peephole and I shook my head, blinking twice before looking again. Aaron stood outside the door, a single glow stick in his hand. My shoulders slumped as I sighed heavily. I couldn't get into another fight this week, the one with Derek and Penelope was enough for a lifetime. Maybe if I waited long enough, he would go away. But then he knocked again.

"I know you're in there, I can see your shadow," he said through the door.

"Damnit," I whispered and opened the door.

Aaron stepped into the apartment, it was nerve wracking, being alone with him. Seeing him in a dark blue polo shirt and jeans made my mind blurry with sinful thoughts, things I hadn't allowed myself to think about since I came back.

"What's going on?" He asked, hands on his hips.

"I should be asking you that," I breathed.

"You're leaving," he stated.

"Yes, I am." I sat down on the couch, trying to seem indifferent.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to guess?" Aaron asked as he sat down on the table across from the couch.

"Nothing happened," I said, not wanting to meet his gaze. "I got an offer and I took it, end of story," I shrugged.

"I know you, Alex," he tilted his head and shook his head, "so don't lie to me."

"Yes, you do know me," I snapped, "you look into my eyes and you say whatever will hurt the most, and knowing me as you do, it isn't even hard."

"I wouldn't have to if you stopped being so difficult," his voice was sharp, it took less and less for him to lose his temper with me.

"See," I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, "when you say things like that, I'm the one who doesn't know who you are, and I wonder if you know yourself. Can't you see what you're doing? Can't you stop?"

His eyes widened and he sucked in a breath, "I'm sorry," he said.

We sat in silence, both of us thinking hard of what to say next.