what the hell happened to you?//five hargreeves

𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛.

Five scoffed, shaking his head, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this." He pushed open the door, letting Y/n walk in quickly before he walked in.

"Come to what Five?" Luther asked, opening the door and entering. Five ignored him, walking into the bathroom next to the door. "Five," Luther groaned, closing the door as Five slammed the bathroom door and locked it. "Five!" Luther shouted, banging on the door. "Come to what?" He paused, waiting for a response. "Five!" No response. He huffed, turning to Y/n. He raised his eyebrows and gestured to the door.

She huffed, crossing her arms and walking over to the door. "Move it Luther," she grumbled, pushing his arm. He obligated, taking a few steps away from the door. Y/n sighed, leaning against the doorframe. Knocking lightly on the door, she sighed again. "Five?" she asked softly. "Five come on. Don't do whatever it is you're doing. Just-" she paused. "Just open the damn door and tell us what the hell is going through your head, please."

-

Five walked around the kitchen, looking around it. "Five, what are you doing?" Y/n asked softly.

"This is going to sound crazy, but I need to do it. It's even more of a last resort than killing the board," he said, opening the fridge. "Get the baby powder would you?" he asked, grabbing a jug of water. She nodded, walking into the bathroom and bending down. She opened the cabinet as Five started chugging the water.

"Five?" she heard Luther ask from the living room as she grabbed the baby powder. Closing the cabinet, she got up and walked over to the table. As she set the baby powder down on the table, Luther walked in the room. She sighed shakily, sitting down in one of the chairs. Her mind wandered to Elliot as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Five what-" Luther cut himself off, seeing Five drinking the water. "You okay?" he furrowed his brows.

Five glanced at Luther, pulling the jug away from his face. He breathed in and out heavily as he put the jug in the fridge and slammed the door. "I'm gonna need to be hydrated," he sighed.

"Hydrated?" Luther asked.

"Five, what are you doing?" Y/n asked, snapping out of her thoughts as she took a sip of coffee.

Five sighed, turning to the table and grabbing the baby powder. "Thanks," he mumbled, pouring some of the powder down his sleeves.

"What's with the baby powder?" Luther asked, shaking his head.

"It'll help with the itching," Five deadpanned, putting some more down his other sleeve.

"What itching?" Y/n asked, tilting her head.

"There's itching?" Luther asked. "What the hell is going on here?"

Five huffed, putting some of the powder down the front of his shirt. He put some down his pants, causing Y/n to turn away and sip on her coffee. Five started bouncing on the ground, messing with the top of his pants as he put the baby powder back down on the table.

"You do have a plan," Luther said suddenly.

Y/n scoffed, turning to Luther. "Yeah, no shit. He just decides to not tell us anything."

Five sighed, moving his arms around. He grabbed his blazer from the table and started walking into the living room, "Well, it's a desperation move, but since our braindead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

Y/n stood up, placing the mug on the table. Walking over to the doorway, she stopped next to Luther and furrowed her brows.

"No choice about what?" Luther questioned.

"I have to find myself," he sighed, grabbing his watch out of his pocket and looking at the time. "I just arrived in Dallas fifteen minutes ago," he stated, putting the watch away.

Y/n unfurrowed her brows as Five started putting his blazer on. "Oh," she stated bluntly, grabbing her gun holster from the table. She nodded, putting it around her right thigh. "Smart," she nodded, buckling the holster and putting her pistol into it.

"Should I be worried about you?"

"Luther, if you recall," Five started, putting his legs out and stretching. "I was sent to nineteen sixty-three on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated," he continued.

"Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there."

"And we have to find him," Y/n stated bluntly, fixing her skirt.

"Precisely," Five said, exhaling as he moved his head around.

"What? Just walking around Dallas?"

"Not just that," Y/n said, leaning against the doorway.

"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home," Five said, turning to Luther.

"Oh my god, Five, you're a genius."

"However," Five added. "There are two significant problems with this plan." He turned around, taking a few steps away from the other two. He turned back to them. "Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous."

"Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther asked.

"Not good ones I'm guessing," Y/n huffed.

Five nodded, "According to Commission Handbook chapter twenty-seven, subsection three B, the seven stages of paradox psychosis are." He stopped, facing them. "Stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination."

"How are those two in there together?" Y/n whispered to herself.

"Four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration," he paused. "And seven: homicidal rage."

"Homicidal rage?" Y/n and Luther asked at the same time.

Five nodded, "Yeah."

Luther shook his head, "Geez. I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea."

Y/n nodded, "I think I have to agree with Luther on this. I don't think that homicidal rage is the best thing to- y'know- have?"

"It's a Hail Mary," Five said, putting his arms up. He brought his arms down, "What choice do we got?"

"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest."

"He's just going crazy," Y/n grumbled.

"Look, guys, I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one alright?" Five asked, stepping between them. "I need a spotter. Two of them would be nice."

"A spotter?" Luther furrowed his brows.

"Yeah," Five nodded.

"What is that? Like a wingman?" Luther asked.

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you guys to help me stay on task all right?" He turned to Y/n. "You know what I act like normally. You can tell when somethings off yeah?" She nodded slightly. He nodded too, sighing, "Great. Luther you and I aren't as close, but you can still tell if I'm about to murder someone."

"Wait, how are you two so close all of the sudden?"

Y/n swallowed and started coughing. She cleared her throat, "Me and Five hardly get away from each other. You get to know a thing or two about a person after having a few- encounters- with them."

Five hid his snicker, shaking his head to get back into focus. "Okay, yeah. So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase."