Cliche 20: Antagonists Are Always Hot and Blonde

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"That's it. My second life is over." My voice was a weak warble against a cushion as I contemplated just smothering myself to death then and there, just moments after Elias left me to simmer in these newly discovered feelings. 

I whined pathetically as I flopped face down on the couch, my sister murmuring a quiet 'there, there' as she rubbed my shoulders. 

"How did this happen, Lex?" Amber asked, and I responded with a drawn out groan, kicking my legs up and down against the couch like a finicky toddler.

"I don't know! Am I supposed to know? How does anyone fall in love?! I didn't ask for this!" I screamed into the pillow, shutting my eyes tight as I tried to get my rapidly beating heart to just shut up, the traitorous organ deciding to have a fit every time my equally traitorous mind whispered 'You love him, you love Elias'.

Elias's stupid, gorgeous, smiling face flashed in my mind, and I banged my head against the pillow again. Why did I fall in love with him? More like, how could I not fall in love with him? Elias, the kind, considerate, caring ex-second lead. He was literally written to be ceaselessly charming, so how could I not succumb to those charms?

How could I not love Elias, who was always smiling around me with that lopsided grin. Elias, who hugged me when I was hurt and down. Elias, who would defend me whenever someone would say something malicious about my character. Elias, who was a doting brother and a loyal friend. Elias, who saw me for who I was, beyond the face that wasn't originally mine. 

Elias, who wasn't in love with me, but with Aubrey

"Oh, noooo," I wailed, kicking my legs again as Amber sighed. 

"Come on, Lex. It's going to be fine-"

"Fine?!" I spluttered, rolling over to give my sister a teary-eyed look, which made her frown. "Ambs, how can anything be fine? You know how the story goes. Elias is the new main lead, and you know how much he loved Aubrey in 'Say No to Bad Boys'! And since this story no longer has a stupid blonde bimbo to try and split up the main couple - no offence to your current body - I've obviously become the replacement! The sacrificial lamb! The enemy to all fangirls everywhere that want to obliterate any threat to their favourite ship! I've legitimately taken over your role! Oh God, I'm so dead, Ambs!"

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"Ambs, I hate characters that are just there to cause drama between the main ship, and now I am that character! I hate myself for feeling like... this, and it's not fair on Aubrey and Elias when they're obviously going to be so happy together. These feelings are just... in their way. And Aubrey would be so hurt if she found out that I was lusting after her man, don't you remember that two chapter long angst-fest from the novel? Aubrey was so distraught with what happened with Xander and the previous owner of your boobies, it was so stupid yet heartbreaking."

I shuddered as I imagined Aubrey finding out about my feelings for Elias, the way her sky-blue eyes would turn cold, or even worse, hurt. Betrayed. How they'd fill with tears as she accused me of trying to steal the love of her life from under her nose, how I truly was just a callous, cold playboy who was just playing at being a horrible caricature of a friend. I didn't want to put Aubrey through that, and I didn't want to lose her as a friend. 

"Aubrey is going to hate me..." I whimpered, Amber sighing as she pat my blonde head comfortingly. 

"Shush, Lex. You were the one that convinced me that she's a nice person and that she wouldn't spite someone for no reason. You haven't given her any reason to hate you, so calm your rock hard pecs. From what I remember of 'Say No to Bad Boys', the original Amber was hated because she literally went and spread lies about Aubrey just to get Xander to drop her pretty ass in favour of these perky titties," Amber said, gesturing to her chest. "Is that what you're planning to do?"

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