A brand new family?

The Past

"I'm a bad parent, aren't I?"

"No, you're not"

"You saw what happened, Tech."

"Yeah I did, that's why I know you're not a bad parent"

Phil sighed heavily and sat on the couch putting his head in his hands. Techno moved over to sit beside him.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice-"

"You were worried about him, you didn't realise"

"I should have realised"

"You couldn't have"

"I could have, I should have recognised it from the way he acted Techno, from the way they both acted."

"You couldn't have known dad, don't blame yourself"

"I had no excuse not to know. They acted the same way you did and still do sometimes"

Techno flinched away for a second, eye twitching as painful memories from the past threatened to creep out from the deep dungeon inside his mind.

"Sorry Tech, that was uncalled for and unnecessary. I didn't mean to say it. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

Techno internally sighed.
"Dad- you're not a bad parent because you made one mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. The twins have had a shit day and clearly it brought up memories that they didn't want to relive"

"I shouldn't have pressured him to say something"

"You were only trying to help"

"Yeah- and what a great fucking job I did of that"

"Dad- don't-"

"You saw his face Techno. He was terrified. Of- of me. He was scared of me Tech, I made him scared of me" Phil lifted his head out of his hands to meet his eldest's piercing gaze. His eyes were red and puffy, holding every painful emotion possible.

Techno looked at his father, his brain frantically searching for all the possible words he could say in response. After a few moments of silence he sighed and got up, Phil watching him as he paced up and down the room quietly.

Techno stopped pacing after a minute, pausing directly across from Phil. He waited for a few more moments before saying anything, letting the prominent silence enclose around them before he spoke.

"I- I was afraid too, Dad"

Phil looked up at Techno, curiosity causing him to wonder where this conversation was going, the pain he was currently feeling forcing him to relive the heartbreaking memories from when Techno was young.

"You remember the first time you found me?" Techno continued, determined to speak about his past even though it was one of his greatest fears. Phil nodded.

"I was ten, ten years old. When you found me in that alley in the middle of autumn. I hadn't eaten in a week, couldn't remember the last time I drank water" Techno paused and took a deep breath. "The clothes I wore were simple, plain and torn. Not suitable for winter."

"I never told you why I was out there. Or how I got there in the first place, you didn't ask, you never questioned it. Saying you went down that alley because of a 'gut feeling'. Heh, what luck that must've been." Techno shook his head with a sigh.

"I ran away from you the first time, I was never one to trust strangers. You never chased after me though"

"I didn't want to scare you away" Phil stated softly, bewildered by Techno's words.

"You came back though. Every day after that. You came back to the alley. You told me your name and eventually I stopped running away. We'd sit and talk, well, you'd talk and I'd listen. You never came too close to me, always staying at a far enough distance, letting me know I had the chance to escape and run again if I wanted to"

"You finally told me your name" Phil smiled, remembering the feeling of accomplishment that he'd felt at the time.

"I did" Techno smiled back. "It was getting closer to winter, and I, being an intellectual, trusted you enough for you to take me to your house. To take me home"
Techno continued on his story, pausing every now and then to reminisce the memories of his past, both good and bad.

"It wasn't perfect, living here. It wasn't perfect at all. But it was the right place for me to be. Being here helped me heal, Dad. You, helped me heal." Techno looked at Phil with wide eyes, desperate to prove his point. "You and Wilbur and every opportunity you gave me. You helped me heal because you believed in me. You helped me heal because overtime I learnt that you weren't gonna hurt me."

"It took a while, it most definitely did, and I'm nowhere near being 100% trauma-free now and to be honest I don't think it's even possible to get there. But I'm closer than I would be if you had just left me in that alley. I don't flinch anymore at the slightest movement or noise. I don't have panic attacks when I'm around more than two people. I'm not constantly shaking all the time. I don't fucking starve myself because I'm too terrified something bad will happen if I eat, or because I feel like I don't deserve the food I'm given. I don't do this stuff because I'm not afraid anymore Dad. You helped me overcome those fears"

Techno was partially out of breath by the end of his rant, his vision clouded as his eyes teared up. "Everyone makes mistakes Dad, things will get better with time, trust me" Techno pleaded, sitting back down next to his father.

The room was silent for a few seconds, Techno waiting on Phil's response.

"Thanks Tech, for talking some sense into your idiot Dad" Phil smiled fondly, putting an arm around his eldest as Techno leaned against his side. "No problem. Just go to sleep tonight, okay? No more worrying about this, at least not until tomorrow. Then you can apologise to Tommy and Tubbo"

"Okay. Thanks again Tech. I love you son, I'm sorry for all this." Phil got up and ruffled Techno's hair as he walked past. Techno pretending to be disgusted by the action before leaning into the contact. "Goodnight Techno"

"Night dad" Techno threw him a soft smile as his dad disappeared up the stairs. As he heard the footsteps retreat into the correct room, Techno sighed heavily, thankful that the conversation was over. He sat for a few more minutes, taking comfort in the enveloping silence before he decided it was time for him to go to bed too. Not that he'd sleep. But so long as he wasn't talking to another human being for at least 12 hours, he figured staying in his room was better than staying down here.

A/N: Yes, I'm posting this at 1:25am on Christmas Eve. Don't judge me, I know you all have fucked up sleep schedules too. I don't know whether there's gonna be another chapter before Christmas is over, so Imma just wish y'all a merry Christmas and a happy holidays! Hope you all are safe and well<3 take care!:)