Unconditionally Conditioned |

•☯︎︎𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟼☯︎︎•

⚠️tw- mentions of alcohol abuse and suicide

Time lapse Friday evening
-Alice and Milo are with her mother
-Jason is at home, for now :)

Jason's pov
It was the last night that Alice was at her mothers before coming home. Jason being more than relieved to have his short friend back in his company. He had decided to take a nap in his living room, just listening to the silence that had made itself at home in his small yet homely apartment, the shutters that draped lazily over his windows shuddered every once in a while as the odd breeze swept through the half opened window. As much as Jason hoped it would be a nap, he found himself entranced with the environment around him, the humidity his room surrounded him that made his grey shirt cling to his now damp chest, causing a series of deep grey patches across his chest and back. Beads of sweat forming at his hair line as he caught himself further in thought than he had realised.

June...A few years ago (Jason...still)
"I need to get out of here!" He yelled down his phone, at his friend, Séan, whilst drinking the last of his bourbon and hauling it at the empty wall, whilst destroying everything that his apartment held, this meant windows, curtains, dry wall...everything. It was run down and not a single part of it was worth salvaging.
He had spent the last few weeks selling off his goods, refrigerator, monitors, beds, sofas every last item in his house until he was left with nothing but a mattress and a small tv that just about worked and a calendar that hung lazily on the wall that he would mark each day as it came, with the last day of the month of June circled there were no other pages after June.
"I tried being nice Séan but you're not listening to me! Why won't you listen to me? Is there something you don't fucking understand?" Pain ripped into his voice as he belted his frustration on the man on the phone. He hated that he had to do this, but he knew If he didn't then he wouldn't be able to do what he wanted without him getting in the way. He put the phone down without giving Sam a chance to react throwing it soon after.
He took one look around his apartment before walking over to his calendar and crossing out the circled date at the end of his calendar.
Storming out of his apartment he made his way to his to any place he could find that could give him what's he'd want. Alcohol.
It had been 3 years since he started, all because of a stupid girl, Demi.
He'd never felt love before her, or joy or purpose, everything was balanced when she was around. But Jason was blind to see that she was just manipulative and only wanted what she could get from him, money, sex a place to sleep, he always justified why she'd come home late every night, roughed up with smudged makeup so that he didn't have to think of the real reason. She'd force him to drink to the point where he was dependent on it, to the point where he spent every pay check on it not taking a penny for his own self. A few months down the line and he was wearing the same clothes gone a week, his hair, greasy and tangled and his face mourned for sleep that he was so selfishly restricting himself from having but that never stopped him from turning to alcohol, drinking until everything was but a blur, it didn't make him happy, it made him numb to all life's poisonous attributes.
That night after the argument, Jason found himself atop of his old apartment building, he couldn't bring himself to leave Demi without turning to suicide, he knew he wouldn't be able to physically leave her without her withering her way back in just like she did every other time. She broke him to the point he felt like killing himself was his only true option.
Just as he toasted his last drink to his shitty life, feet dangling over the edge. He heard the door to the roof slam open, Séans face frantically scanning the roof for his friend, he knew something was off the minute Demi had told him Jason was nowhere to be found, they hated eachother but he knew something was truly wrong when she came to him for help.
His eyes met his friend, who was now upstanding, the cold air of the night practically battering him.
"Jason!" He screamed, but his friends head stayed locked to the now diminishing sunset. Seeing his friends slight wobble and piles of empty bottles surrounding him, he knew this was something he had planned for a while.
Without thinking Séan ran straight for the man who was edging to his death by the mere second.
Just as Jason stepped off he felt himself going backward rather that forwards, Séans arms entangled around the mans waist as they both fell to the cold concrete roof.
Stunned, Jason got himself up trying to go again but Séan wouldn't let him go.
"Jason, listen to me, please" Séan begged. After what felt like hours of begging and pleading, Jason's head finally snapped to face Séan.
"You don't need to do this Jason, I know you're hurting but we can get through it, please hang on, come stay with me for a while, I don't want you being alone anymore, please Jason."
(Now)
Jason was snapped out of his thoughts, drenched in shame and fear by the sudden buzzing of his phone, shaking it off he took his phone and saw a message from Felix.

Felix
Hey! Buddy,
I'm in New York for
A few days for Rae's
Birthday, we're all
Gonna meet you at a bar
Tonight, you in?

Me
Yeah sounds good!
Text me the place and time
and I'll meet you guys
there :)

Felix
Awesome dude
Me and Séan will
Meet you outside.
It's Bar 54 and we're
Meeting for 6

Jason knew he shouldn't have accepted, but they didn't know him like Séan did so he couldn't expect them to understand.
He's been sober for a while now, not even a casual drink during the day. Yes he could just stick to soft drinks at bars but the sight of everyone else drinking would only tempt him more.

"What's one drink gonna do aye?"