Inspiration [Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader]

Guilt

October

Everything just stopped.  

Not a word from Kuroo in weeks and weeks. At first, I just assumed he was busy because exams were coming up and so were some serious games. However, after the third week of ignorance, it was pretty apparent he wasn't interested anymore. 

The worst part was, I couldn't tell anybody. The only person that knew I was on a date was Tobio, and it's not as if he wanted to spread that to anybody. I was planning on telling Hitoka and Kiyoko, but as the days went on, I felt like I wanted to keep it a secret.

I knew I shouldn't have put my faith in the one person because ultimately, I knew in the back of my brain that the only person I could rely on for my happiness was myself. That's the main lesson I learned from dating Oikawa. Even so, it didn't make me feel any less shit. 

The girls had kind of noticed that I was being off, but they just chalked it up to what I'd told them back at the training camp, about the people who would harass me online. That kind of came to a halt too, which I was grateful for. I didn't really feel like telling them the real reason, feeling like it was kind of pathetic to be so into somebody who clearly didn't feel the same way. I assumed he probably was a commitment-phobe and tried to disappear before anything serious happened. I went through a wave of emotions, feeling sad, lonely, to then feeling betrayed, angry, annoyed. 

The Inter-high tournament was approaching, as were some important exams. I executively decided that I didn't have time to worry about a boy who wasn't worrying about me and ultimately decided to keep the situation to myself.

---

"Hinata, you'll be fine. You guys are strong, you've got this," I said in a sweet voice, attempting to comfort Hinata who was about to blow chunks at any second. 

"I-I think I'll just go to the bathroom," he said and walked away with shaky legs.

"He's something else," Sugawara laughed, watching him walk away.

"You're not nervous, Suga?" I questioned, he seemed to be completely composed. 

"Of course I am, (Y/N), but I can't be. I won't allow myself to be scared, because this is make or break for us third years."

I nodded, giving him a smile but in the back of my mind, all I could think about was the fact that it was the same situation for Kuroo. I tried to get rid of my thoughts, heading to the water fountain to refill for the boys. 

"Games starting, let's go," Mr. Takeda said as we all went to witness the boys playing. Because Hitoka and I were only managers-in-training and there was only one manager allowed on the bench, we went to the stand with the Karasuno fans. 

I watched in awe at the boys playing, every movement mattered, every play was executed as well as they could. They looked so cool and I stared at them like I was only seeing them for the first time. They won their games and they were to face Aoba Joshai, once again. 

I shivered, watching the familiar boys enter the court across from boys who I'd grown so close with in a short time. The game was hectic from the start to finish, one game even going into the thirties. I tried my best to remove my mind from Oikawa but his plays were so other-worldly, he couldn't help but captivate my attention. It was really annoying.