✓ WE NEVER SLEEP, draco malfoy

F O U R

"That I shall love always,
I argue thee
that love is life,
and life hath immortality"

— Emily Dickinson 

________________________________________

Rowan told her friends what had happened to her father and they all crowded around her in comfort, staying there until they were sent off to bed. Hermione stayed close, and so did Ginny when she arrived back at the dorms. The three of them whispered into the late hours of the night until the two other girls fell asleep.

But Rowan couldn't. She couldn't rest her eyes, not when her father was dead. Not when her family didn't care whether she be there or not. 

It was exactly what Malfoy had been saying to her all along, that she didn't matter, that they didn't love her. Being a Gryffindor was worse to them, then death itself, which was something she couldn't seem to wrap her head around. 

She didn't think they thought like that, not truly. She thought, somewhere, deep down, they loved her all the same.

She slipped out of her bed, grabbing her robe and shoes and slowly crept out of the dorm and towards the common room. She needed to get away, to hide somewhere and be alone.

So she snuck out, keeping her back to the walls and slinking down the corridor like she was on a secret mission. But, in reality, she was just doing her best not to get caught.

But when she got to her destination, it was all worth it. 

The Astronomy Tower was usually off limits outside of class and if you were ever caught inside, you'd face one hell of a punishment. But that didn't seem to scare Rowan, as she had snuck up here more than once in her spare time last year. 

She just expected to be alone, like always. She didn't expect to see someone else standing by the ledge, nor did she expect to see the shimmer of blonde hair reflect in the moonlight. 

"Malfoy," she breathed, coming to a stop a few feet behind him. 

He didn't seem startled but his shoulders did tense for a moment before catching a slight glimpse behind him and once noticing it was only her, his shoulders relaxed. 

She took a tentative step forward. "What are you doing up here?"

"Trying to be alone," he said in a gruff voice and she sighed, hoping the pair would act civil, just because it was late and she didn't have the energy to argue. She wished he hadn't been up here because wasn't one of her goals was to not interact with him? To keep her distance? To stay in the boundaries of enemies rather than what it was slowly inching towards?

So instead, she cleared her throat and said a simple, "Me too," and came up to stand next to him. She rested her hands on the stone railing before her, looking out into the vast darkness that was their night. She wondered what Hogwarts looked like from out there, how great the castle probably seemed to those walking up. 

She let out a sigh, feeling a soft wind sweep past them, rustling her hair and making her fingers turn cold. She wished she wasn't wearing her slippers because her feet were growing cold too. 

"Do you usually come up here?" she asked in a soft voice, turning her head to look at him. The shadows carved out his face like a god and she hated herself for that description, but what else could she say? His pallor resembled marble, like the Greeks had chiseled him out. 

He shifted, leaning forward against the railing and she caught sight of a few rings on his fingers. "Most nights. It's nice to get away, sometimes." He shifted again, looking uncomfortable before scowling, probably at himself, before muttering, "I'm sorry about your father."