Memories

XXIV

FLAWS

'There's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it, I can't fill it
There's a hole in my soul
Can you fill it? Can you fill it?'

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⥐

Thalia was standing in front of a canvas and was painting little purple flowers in the eye sockets of a girl's face. She heard someone enter the room an turned around. Andrew stood against the doorframe with his arms folded. Thalia turned around and continued painting.

"You do a lot of odd pieces of art," Andrew commented. She couldn't argue with that. Her style was different than most of the others in her classes. While a lot of people preferred painting landscapes and colour blocked pieces, Thalia liked painting people and difficult situations for them to be in. It made what she'd been through more real, and helped get her message across.

"Depends how you look at it." Thalia responded. She could hear Andrew's boots walking around the studio. Likely he was looking at her work, but Thalia had to be sure he wasn't ruining it. She turned and watched him. If he noticed, he didn't seem to mind, and continued walking. Every so often he'd stop and really look at one.

 Something reminded Thalia of when Andrew had first come in here. He'd spared a glance at a piece of Thalia's that represented self-harm. She thought about the black armbands Andrew always wore. Everyone thought it was to help distinguish the twins, and then learned that he carried knives under them. But there was something else. Thalia realised there had to be more.

"You cut, don't you," she said. It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation. Andrew stood from where he'd been crouched and looking at a piece of two hands. He turned to face Thalia and hummed as he made his way over to her.

"No," Andrew said eventually, when he was close enough to Thalia that she could see the lie in his eyes.

"Not anymore, maybe," she said. "But I saw you look at that piece last week. You wanted me to see you look at it."

"You seem to have enough problems for yourself," Andrew said. "I wouldn't want to burden you with mine. That's what therapists are for."

Thalia wasn't convinced, but she let the subject drop, afraid she'd get cut into ribbons and Andrew would use her blood as paint to finish her piece. She took her brushes and palette to the nearest sink and started washing. Andrew had stayed where he was by her canvas. 

"Why are you here, Andrew?" she asked, loud enough for him to hear. He hummed again. Once she was done, Thalia turned around and leaned back on the sink, folding her arms.

"I was walking around and saw the door to your beautiful studio open," Andrew said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He was hopped up on meds, which Thalia figured was the better option if Andrew didn't want to end up back in jail. "Just thought I'd say hi."

"Well, hi. Bye. Get out." Thalia said, moving to get her things. Andrew laughed dryly.

"And because Kevin wanted to see you." Andrew said, making Thalia stop in her tracks. Just yesterday she'd learned from Kevin that she'd lived at Castle Evermore for three years, and that she was possibly the reason Riko had gone mad. She'd found out from Neil that they were siblings, and that they'd been on the run from their father for years. 

"Why? We talked yesterday. There's no logical reason for us to see each other until next practice." Thalia was ignoring Andrew now, instead thinking of all the reasons Kevin might want to see her. Had all of that talk yesterday been a sick joke? Had he gotten Neil and Jean in on it too? Or were there things he wanted to add to the messed up information now circulating through Thalia's brain?

"I don't ask, I just pass along the message." Andrew said. "So you can either come with me or leave Kevin angry and make him come after you himself."

"Would that be so bad?" Thalia asked jokingly. It was a rhetorical question, but Andrew shrugged and started moving out of the studio. Thalia sighed and followed, locking the door behind her.

"Ah, that's better." Andrew said. They walked together in silence to the dorms. Andrew unlocked his dorm room and Thalia followed him in. Andrew headed to the kitchen, but pointed to the bedrooms. Thalia took the hint and made her way to the separate room.

She knocked on the door and heard a grunt, so Thalia entered. Kevin was sitting on his lower bunk bed and had a chess board in front of him. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed and was looking at the board intensely. 

"I didn't know you played," Thalia said. Kevin hummed and Thalia took that as a hint to join him. She sat opposite him and noticed he had the pieces set up in a problem. Thalia moved one of the pieces to create an opportunity for Kevin's black piece. He frowned. She moved the piece she'd intended for Kevin to move, to show him, and he looked at the board wide-eyed.

"I didn't know you played." he looked up at her. Thalia lifted an eyebrow and shook her head. She took all the white pieces in her hands and gestured for Kevin to do the same with the black ones. Then she picked up the board and stood. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Thalia walked out of the bedroom and felt Kevin following her. "It's too dark in there." she said and put the board down on the coffee table in the living room. She set up her pieces and ignored Nicky's protests against their blocking of the tv. "Get over it, Nicholas." she said.

Thalia took one of Kevin's pawns and one of her own, and handed them to Nicky. "Switch them around randomly in your hands and then put them in front of you, palms down." Nicky was confused, but turned the tv off and did as Thalia asked. She nodded to Kevin, who pointed at one of Nicky's hands. He flipped it over to show the white pawn. "Damnit." Thalia muttered.

"I don't understand," Nicky said. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Kevin took the piece and turned the board around so that the white pieces were on his side and the black ones were on Thalia's.

"It's good for Kevin, bad for me." Thalia said as she took the black piece out of Nicky's hand and placed it in its position. "White starts. Speed?" she asked Kevin, who nodded. "We betting on this? I've gathered that the team bets on a lot of things." Nicky laughed.

"Yes. A dollar each game?" Kevin said. Thalia nodded and placed her purse on the ground beside her. Kevin quickly dashed into his room to get his. He placed it next to Thalia's and looked her in the eyes before down at the board. 

"Go," Nicky said. Kevin moved his piece, and the game began. By the time they were done, Kevin had won six games, and Thalia had won fourteen. "Damn, where'd you learn to play like that?" Nicky asked as Kevin grumbled and handed over the last dollar. Thalia smirked. 

"First foster home." She said. Nicky seemed surprised by that bit of truth. "I was only there for two weeks. Ran away. But I'm a fast learner." Thalia shrugged. "They were good people, but I didn't trust them."

"Who do you trust, if not even the people looking after you?" Nicky asked, genuinely curious. Thalia looked to Kevin, who was putting his pieces away.

"Kevin, Andrew and Neil." she said, looking back at Nicky and leaning on her hands. Nicky frowned. He also seemed slightly saddened by the fact that Thalia didn't trust him.

"Andrew? Why do you trust Andrew?" he asked. Thalia shrugged again.

"I understand him and what he's been through. Same with Neil and Kevin. Well, parts of it." Thalia said as she stood up. Her knees clicked from sitting on them weirdly for the past hour or so. "And I'd consider them friends. Though I know Andrew would probably kill me for it and Neil would give me that look he has when people do nice things for him."

"You have that look too, you know." A new voice said. Thalia turned and saw Aaron closing the door behind him. Thalia shrugged.

"I know." she said. "Bye Kevin, thanks for the games." she smiled. "And the money." Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Thalia left the room feeling happy.