Memories

XXIII

LEGENDARY

'Cause we're gonna be legends
Gonna get their attention
What we're doing here ain't just scary
It's about to be legendary'

⥎
⥐

Neil started to stand, though he looked shaky. "I'm going to be sick," he said. Kevin grabbed his arm.

"Nathaniel, wait," he said, but Neil twisted out of his grasp and pointed at Kevin with a finger. Neil looked much too pale and Thalia knew it was the thought of being killed by their own father plaguing him. It was running through Thalia's mind, though by the sounds of it, she needn't have worried about it. She would have lived anyway. She'd have a stupid three tattooed on her cheek and she'd be playing as the best offensive dealer in the country, possibly the world.

But instead she'd had a life of hell that she didn't even remember, and a brother who'd just heard he would have died eight years ago if he hadn't run. Thalia somehow felt bad for Neil. She understood now why their mother had run. Why she'd taken only Neil and not both of her children.

She resented the woman, but sympathised with Neil. He hadn't had a choice, and had asked her many times to go back for Thalia. She could understand the helplessness Neil must have felt.

"Don't call me that." Neil said in a threatening tone. "And don't call her Nathalia." Neil looked to Thalia once and then Kevin stood, Thalia following.

"Neil," she started. "Neil it's okay. I don't even remember having that name." she shrugged. "I don't remember a lot of things, but I do trust what Kevin says. I don't hate you for leaving me. Maybe I would if I had memories. Maybe I did. I don't know. But you didn't have a choice, and you would have been killed if you hadn't left."

"I do, though." Neil said with a slightly shaky breath. "I remember too well what it was like for you trying to forget that name. I remember everything. And I hate me for leaving you." Neil's eyes were watering. "I could have said no. I could have forced her to take you in the first place. But I didn't."

"Neil," Kevin said cautiously. "You should run."

"I can't. I ran for eight years, Kevin. It was horrible, even when my mother was alive. Where would I go now that I'm alone?" Neil said.

"You're not alone, Neil." Thalia said, moving towards him. "You have me. And as much as it is to take it all in, I'm your sister. You're my brother. I have to learn to accept that, and I don't know how long it will take, but if you asked me to go with you, I would."

"You can't. You have a future. You can go all the way, Thalia," Neil took her hands and frowned at her. "I know you don't remember but I used to hate every time we would get to a new city, because it meant you would ask all the strangers a shit ton of questions." Neil laughed and sniffed back tears. "It was unsafe, and I'd had three years of practice by the time we picked you up. But I grew to like it. It was difference in all of the sameness." Thalia smiled.

"The Master will want to take you back." Kevin said, getting both Thalia and Neil's attention. He looked awkward. Kevin Day was known for his skill on the court. Not his empathy and emotions. "He'll sign you both for the Raven lineup in spring."

"What makes you think we'll say yes?" Thalia said.

"He won't give you a choice." Kevin argued. She shrugged.

"I don't give a fuck." Thalia said and Neil snorted. Kevin didn't look pleased, and shook his head.

"Then run."

"No." Neil said again. He and Thalia stood facing Kevin now, who seemed like his argument was failing. 

"Don't be stupid," he said quietly, though there was nobody around to hear him other than Thalia and Neil.

"Running won't save us this time." Neil defended. "If the Moriyamas really do think we're a threat, they'll send people after us. We could only just outrun our father last time. How are we supposed to get away from his boss?" 

"At least you'd have a chance." Kevin seemed sad. Thalia wanted to comfort him. Tell him that they'd be alright. That running wasn't the answer anymore. Thaila may not remember much of her time on the run, but she did remember that it wasn't nice. None of it was ever a good thing. Always the fear of being caught. The fear that something she'd done would get them killed. It was the same sort of dynamic in even her foster homes. Particularly the last.

"A chance to die alone somewhere else," Thalia said. Kevin looked at her then. She could tell he didn't want them to go. He didn't want to lose that part of his childhood again. Thalia might not remember much of her time at Evermore with Kevin and Riko, but the parts that were foggy in her mind seemed to tell her that she and Kevin were close. 

"If I was going to run, I should have done it in August," Neil spoke up. Thalia looked at him. She wasn't there in August. They would have still been separated. "Andrew told me it was my last chance to get out. I chose to stay. I wasn't sure he was going to be enough the stand between me and my father, especially if I brought Thalia into all this, but I wanted this too much to care about the risks. Maybe I didn't fully understand the risks then, but this hasn't changed."

"I don't want to run. I don't want to be a Raven. I don't want to be Nathaniel." Neil said, looking into Kevin's eyes. "I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year, and I want to make it to Championships. And in spring, when the Moriyamas come for us, I'll do what they're so afraid I'll do." He looked over at Thalia. "I'll go the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It'll be too late then."

"Neil," Thalia started, but knew her words fell on deaf ears, and instead she just looked down.

"You should be Court. Both of you." Kevin said in barely a whisper. It was enough to make Thalia look up. Neil's plan was stupid, and scary, and made Thalia want to throw up. Thinking of him being dead by the end of the year, and possibly being in the same boat made Kevin's statement all that much worse. He'd believed in them. Helped them get better. He wanted them to go far in life. And neither of them were going to make it. Because they'd be playing with the Ravens or dead by the next season, and neither wanted to play with the Ravens, especially after knowing how Kevin's injury happened.

"Will you still teach us?" Neil asked.

"Every night." Kevin said to Neil and then looked at Thalia. "You're welcome to join us. We practice every night at around eleven. You can meet us here or we can bring you with us." Thalia nodded, showing that she appreciated his thoughts of her, and agreeing to join. If this was Thalia's last year on this earth, she was going to make it worth it.