In Another Life

Chapter 10: Once More

You woke up to the sounds of birds chirping outside and the morning sun rays hitting your face. How long have I been out for? Actually, when did I even go to sleep?

"You okay?" greeted Feitan who was sitting up beside you. Everyone was still asleep, situating themselves in the same place you remember from last night. Uvogin still has not returned.

"Yeah," you respond with a yawn, "when did I fall asleep?"

"When we were playing cards. Are you sick?" He seemed worried.

"Oh. No no, I'm completely fine. I get really sleepy sometimes when I'm nervous. Guess this was just one of those times," you explain while laughing at yourself.

Feitan didn't laugh, he kept the same concerned look on his face and asked, "Are you scared?"

"Well..." To be completely honest, you didn't even know what you were feeling at the moment. I wasn't scared when Shalnark was playing cards with us, only worried really. But I guess the worry added to the scared from back when I was still at the auction and the combination of both had me fall asleep. I've never had quite a dramatic reaction like this one, I can't believe I just fell asleep playing cards. Oh god, he's still waiting for an answer. Should I tell him the truth? I mean I trust him, but will he think lowly of me? No, he wouldn't. I just have to trust him.

"I was scared, yes. But more worried before I fell asleep. I guess Shalnark kind of rubbed off on me," you chuckled, "I don't know, I guess it's the worry and the fear from what happened at the auction. I've never had it this bad before...." you began to trail off.

As you unraveled your emotions, Feitan sat there with nothing but patience and sympathy written all over his face. He didn't look annoyed, but rather glad that you allowed yourself to be comfortable around him. He hates to admit it,  but he's growing quite fond of you. How you were able to step out of your comfort zone for others, the way you were so kind to him even though he was so cold to you in the beginning, and of course, that smile. God, he can't get enough of your smile. He's never heard you laugh before but he's definitely wondered what it would sound like. Probably as perfect as your smile, he thought to himself.

As you finished explaining, you lift your head to look up at him and he's ... smiling at you? You can't help but blush a little. He should smile more.

"Take it easy. Don't be so hard on yourself," he advises.

You nod, he really hasn't responded with much but you immediately feel calmer. "I know it's just- I don't know, it seems silly. Everyone here is so dedicated and I couldn't even watch the backstage door properly."

You suddenly feel Feitan's hand on your shoulder. "There's no rush, everyone here was scared the first time they did something like this."

Wow, that may have been the most words he's ever said at once, you thought to yourself. "You're right, thanks. Really," you respond with a smile.

Oh no there it is again, Feitan said to himself. That smile. The one that makes him forget about everything and focus on nothing but you in that moment. The one thing that he can look at for forever and never get tired of. The one thing that can make him feel safe and appreciated. The realization of this had Feitan a little bit worried though. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Could this be a sign of weakness? He was worried, truth be told. He was worried that you would tear down the walls he built and betray him after that. It wasn't that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to trust anyone on this level really. This new form of trust wasn't something he shared with Phinks, this was more emotional. He felt more vulnerable.

Suddenly, Chrollo's footsteps catches everyone's attention in the room.  He seems quite sense, possibly because of the fact that Uvo has yet to return. "Everyone." He begins, words filled with heavy despair. Everyone looked at each other and understood the memo. Uvogin has not returned yet, and he never will. The room falls silent for several minutes, the remaining troupe members try to gather their thoughts as they silently mourn for the death of one of their own.

"The next auction is in two days," Chrollo said, his voice interrupting the silence just like how his footsteps did a while ago. "You already know what to do. Y/N," he turns to you.

"Y-yes?"

"I would have you sit back on this one, but we need everyone on board. You will be joining."

You began to sweat, but none the less, you couldn't reject his request. Not at a time like this. You nod at the tall man with the forehead tattoo. Two days. Two days to get yourself together.