In Another Life

Chapter 5: Panic

"Are you scared of me?" His question echos in your head.

"No," you shake your head, "sorry I can't stop shaking, can you keep going?"

"It won't turn out as well if you don't stop moving."

"Oh," you say defeated. There's really no other choice, either walk out of the room with an unfinished tattoo or finish it with low quality. The next words he says make you a little flustered.

"Are you okay?" This question was genuine. You can feel it. No underlining annoyance, he is being very patient with you, as if he actually cares for you.

"Um," you don't know how to respond. Should I tell him I'm totally freaking out right now because I was forced to join the troupe? Will he think I'm weak?

You don't say anything for a while, Feitan doesn't seem to mind. What's going on inside their head? He asks himself. Why do I care if they're okay or not? I don't. I'm just extra nice today I guess, being able to put out with the cluelessness.

"I don't..." you say, causing him to focus back on you and away from his thoughts, "I don't kill. I've never killed." Although Chrollo never told you the entirety of his plan for the auction, you knew there were going to be dead bodies by the end of it.

"Do you feel bad?" He asks. He is curious about your mindset, he wants to learn more about you. The reason for this sudden urge to get to know you? He doesn't even know himself.

"Yes. I only came to York New to train at Heavens Arena, I've never actually had to kill anyone. Nor do I want to." You reveal.

"The people at the auction aren't innocent," he begins to explain, "the rich get their hands dirty too, they just have the money to hide it."

He did have a point. It's not like you guys were going to steal directly from peoples' homes. Maybe some of them even deserved death, the people involved with the mafia are all pretty sketchy.

"Don't beat yourself up, remember that they deserve this." He continues. You can't help but notice a new emotion in his eyes. Was he, reassuring you? His soft voice really did help you calm down.

Maybe he was right. Maybe we're actually doing society a favour. The people involved in these auctions have their own secrets, we're just making them pay for it.

You slowly nod your head, darting your eyes back to your arm. It has stopped shaking. Your entire mood has shifted to calm and relaxed. Taking a mental note of how you were able to find comfort in the short man in black, you look back at him with a smile, signalling that he can continue.

Feitan is quite taken back. He didn't expect you to smile. The way your lips crease up to form a bright expression across your face. For a second he's dumbfounded, thinking about nothing but the way your eyes shine in the dark lit room. Y/N looks so, intriguing. You reminded him of his past self. He still remembers his first kill to this day. His hesitant hands holding the sword pointed at his opponents neck, the slight feeling of guilt after the deed has been done. But there was something different, he didn't just see you as a reflection of his past self, you were more than that. He didn't know what he was feeling, all he knew was that he had to get to know you better. He will get to know you better.

Realizing he has stared maybe a little bit too long, he resumed tattooing your arm. Room filled with nothing but the buzzing of the needle, you two sit in comfortable silence for the rest of the session.

Before you know it, the tattoo is finished.  A black spider with the number 4 in the center of it. Not too big, not too small. It's very well done, you had to give that to him.

"You're very good at this," you praise him while examining the tattoo. Looking up to smile at him again, you thank him for the art he's engrained onto your body.

There it is again, your smile. This time he's not surprised by it, instead, he begins to memorize your features. Taking in the way your cheeks rise up to form the smile that he could stare at forever. You're genuinely thankful, he can tell. He doesn't know how to react to this, no one has ever shown him this kind of kindness before. No one had made him feel this way before. He is beginning to feel safe around you, and he knows it.

Right on cue, another blond in a tracksuit shows up at the door, knocking on the doorframe before stepping inside. He seems to be cautious, maybe that Shalnark from earlier gave him a warning. "Hey uh, boss says the meeting is about the start, I'm Phinks by the way." he explains. Feitan's face tenses up at the interruption, an annoyed expression on his face. He takes a look at you and stands up to make his way out of the room following Phinks.

You take the hint and stand up too, following closely behind them to wherever the meeting was.