It Meant Family

31st of July 1991

"They want to know what became of the heart they gave. Because the fighting isn't over yet." – Attack on Titan, Erwin Smith

Grimmauld Place 12, London, England

Harry had asked Remus and Sirius for something different that year for his birthday and his family was reluctant. He wanted to have a goodbye dinner with his muggle friends and Sirius wasn't too excited to take care of five 11 year old children without magic, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for his godson.

The morning of his birthday Harry sat in his bed, quiet and sad, feeling more lonely than he had in years. Remus, knowing the boy too well after all that time, walked up to his room and knocked on the open door.

"Hey cub," he said quietly "I know this is hard" he sat next to the boy and patted his back.

"You really don't," he responded, "having to look your friends in the eyes and know that the last thing you will ever be able to tell them is going to be a lie." He sighed "I wish I could just forget them," he started to sound more angry then sad "or that I hadn't made friends at all, I mean, how could I be so cruel, vowing to be friends forever when I knew that 'forever' had an expiration date?" Harry burst into painful, rageful, helpless tears.

"You were not cruel Harry." Remus held the boy's hands with his, they were sweating and shaking, he knew this kind of agony, he had seen it on Sirius and himself more times then he could count. "You were brave, you put yourself out there. You didn't sit around waiting for your letter like so many young witches and wizards do, you lived your life and there is nothing cruel about that." For the first time during that conversation he met Remus' eyes "James and Lily would have been so proud of your bravery."

"Thanks, renny," Harry wrapped his hands around Remus sobbing and choking on his tears "I'm never going to have goodbye to you, right?" He was more begging than he was asking, because if anything was certain about Harry James Potter, it was that he hated goodbyes.

"Never cub, never!" he knew what it felt like, to look someone he loved in the eyes and lie.

xXx

Muggle restaurant, London, England

It was no later than noon when they arrived at Harry's favourite restaurant and they didn't have to wait long for his friends to get there too.

The first ones they saw were Ollie and Noah, twins. Harry had met the girl when he was four and they had been inseparable ever since, the boy was transferred from boarding school when they were 6, his dad had sent him away so he would learn to be a "proper boy", but after the divorce, his mum had brought him back home.

A few minutes later Robin arrived followed closely by Theo. The first was like a brother to Harry, they had met only a couple years before, but it felt like forever. The other was a lot more than that.

They all sat at the table, quietly at first, like the silence was a glass and if it broke, its pieces would cut through their hearts. But after a while, the conversation started and once it did, no one could stop it.

"Well, I'm starving" Ollie stated.

"When aren't you?" her brother replied jokingly and Sirius smiled at the sight of his kid's joy.

The chatter was loud and the other tables glared over a few times, but no one seemed to notice. It was like the food transported itself into their stomachs, because even after it arrived there was not a moment of silence. Harry was especially excited, for a moment he actually forgot that it was goodbye, but it didn't last long.

A couple hours later, when the parents went to pick up their kids it all came rushing back, like a wave. He suddenly felt completely empty, the whole world could fit in the void in his chest, he wanted time to stop so he could savour that moment, so he could stay in it just a little longer, but he couldn't.

The twins' mum, Cassie, made a point to ask repeatedly if Harry actually wanted to go that far to Scotland or if he was being shipped away against his will and he reassured her he was more than happy. Ollie and Noah stood by listening to the conversation and waiting for it to be over before they hugged him together.

"I'll miss you, Glasses" said the girl "don't go and forget all about us."

"We'll see you next summer." The boy smiled, Harry nodded. Robin came from behind him, they watched the twins and their mum close the door as they left.

"We're not gonna see you next summer, are we?" he asked, Harry raised a surprised and apologetic eyebrow "I don't get why you didn't tell us about this school before." He sounded almost suspicious.

"I'm sorry..." was all Harry could muster before his friend held him tight and left without looking back. Robin had never been really good with feelings.

Theo was last, but Harry didn't know how to say goodbye to him, so they stood in front of each other for a little too long. He looked at the other boy, a few centimetres taller, brown eyes, brown hair and the brightest smile Harry had ever seen and neither of them said a word. He didn't want to look at him, but couldn't turn away. They both opened their mouths to speak at different moments, but gave up and remained silent.

"I thought it was going to be forever," Theo looked down and started picking at his sleeve "but" he continued, pulling his head back up and noticeably hating the silence "we had a good time."

"Yeah," Harry replied, too aware of every part of his body "I guess we did... I'm sorry I lied." He aimed his eyes at the floor, in his mind, the floor cracked open and he fell in, because disappearing seemed better than saying goodbye. Instead, a wine bottle blew up a few tables down and caused a commotion to which neither of them paid any attention.

"See you 'round Harry" Theo pulled him into an embrace and Harry let himself enjoy it, his head was crowded with all the things he wanted to say back, yet, none of them seemed able to find a way out of his mind.

He searched in his brain for excuses and lies he could use to keep seeing his friend after starting his studies at Hogwarts, ways he could explain why he had no idea what had been happening in the muggle world or how he would rip the magic out of all his experiences, so he could share them with him, but he realised that that was why he shouldn't do it, because it would all be a lie, it was easier, even if not easy, never seeing him again.

"Goodbye." was all he could manage as his friend left.

Only one thing felt certain, if Harry had known what he was protecting his friends from, saying goodbye would have been much easier.