It Meant Family

Not 31st of October 1981 (3rd of July 1993)

TW: PTSD. Death. Genocide. Misogyny.

xXx

" [...] that's when the dread filled him, overflowed, squeezed his heart to dust. His hands started to sweat, and Moss backed away from the windows, nearly tripping over Esperanza." - Anger is a Gift, Mark Oshiro

Inside the mind of Harry James Potter, United Kingdom

The man on the floor was oblivious to his presence, Harry spoke, furiously trying to get him to let go of his mother's body and help him, but nothing happened. The baby in the crib screamed and the man looked up terrified, his face was familiar, the boy had seen it a million times.

"No," he whispered, "it can't be you." It was only then he noticed he was crying, tears rushed down his face "why won't you help me? I'm here, don't you care?" He started to scream "Help me," his heart sunk in his chest "you have to help me, please". Snape left and Harry kept begging for him to return, to care, just for a moment, to be decent, but he wasn't.

He heard someone calling his name, at first the sound was distant and drowned by his own voice, but it grew louder as he began to pay more attention to it. He then noticed how the scene in front of him looked like a veil, the boy could see something behind it, but failed to make out what it was, Remus called out to him again, concerned.

"You're safe Harry, you're home" and he was, for the first time in 12 years he was back home, in his room, in his crib, but he was alone, there was no one to provide him comfort or safety. His mother was so close, yet, he couldn't reach her. He was home, but he wasn't safe.

His forehead burned, but the pain wasn't on his body. He wanted to move, to pick himself up from that crib, but he couldn't.

"Harry, just breathe" Moony's voice was soothing, but he couldn't do as he was told, not because he didn't want to, but because his body seemed to have forgotten how to inhale, so he just shook his head "it's okay." Remus reassured him "can you tell me today's date or where you are?"

"It's- It's uhm" reality was blurry, so he looked around the room for some guidance, he saw a calendar on the wall and swallowed dryly before speaking "31st of... of October, 1981" he looked outside the window behind him, all the houses framed in Halloween decorations, he saw all the leafless trees and some of the street lamps lit up a sign just enough for him to read it "Godric's Hollow."

"No cub, that's not it.'' Remus's voice was shaking and his heart sank in sympathy "That's the past. You're at Grimmauld Place now." He paused. "Can you tell me who's here with you?"

"My mum and- no" Harry rubbed his eyes and looked around again, through his memory he was finally starting to see them "Moony... an- and Padfoot..." he started to remember how to breathe "it's the second of July... 1993."

"Well" Sirius spoke softly, "it's past midnight, so technically it's already the third." Harry rubbed his eyes once more and stared at the fireplace across from him, lost. He looked at the frames on the mantle, pictures of Sirius, Remus, his parents, a trio of girls he had been told were called Dorcas, Mary and Marlene, and the mysterious empty space.

"Th- The Burrow," he snapped himself back into reality "did we really leave so late?" He watched his godfather's face confused, the last thing he remembered was getting out of the Weasley's home and walking into the street.

"It has been a while lad."

"No," he shot back "it can't have..." He rubbed his face again and felt it wet. "Have I been crying? Why was I crying?"

"You were remembering the night your parents died-" Remus petted his back reassuringly.

"No"

"You were asking someone to help you," Harry shook his head "you were screaming" his throat ached, he really had been screaming.