At Your Service ✓

[Chapter Sixty-Seven] Mari

And the wait is over, i'll put you out of your worrying minds on what she says <3 <3

Chapter Sixty-Seven – Mari

Oh my god, this can’t, no. He is not doing this right now. I stared at him shocked as he kneeled in front of me and he slowly pulled a box out of his pocket, a small square box that meant enough to send me into a panic attack.

It was more than a ring and I at this moment was torn between being happy and begging him not to do this, it was too soon. I couldn’t be a wife, we barely knew each other and it was a lifetime commitment, not that a baby wasn’t but this was more. I would be more than a wife, I would be an Army wife and that was one hard thing to be.

“Mari, I love you. I say it but I don’t think you realize just how much I mean it. I love everything about you. I love the way you sing when you cook, I love your strength and you’re stubbornness, I love that you fight me on things and have your own opinions, you’re honest and loving and a fantastic mother as well as girlfriend.”

He opened the box and I swallowed hard and my body was fighting on deciding to be excited or sick.

“Lalexia helped me pick out the prefect ring for you because it may be the only thing perfect about us. We’re a mess and backwards and I don’t know if I want to kill you or kiss you sometimes but I love you so much and I want the four of us to be a family. You are everything I never knew I wanted in life.” he paused and looked at me.

He was so nervous right now, he looked panicked and worried and stressed and so hopeful as his eyes met mine and he held my gave for what felt like an hour but Lex wouldn’t be patient enough for that.

I did love him and I felt the tears because he was my own perfection, fucked up and tortured but compassionate and loving beyond words. I was about to either build him up and accept him or absolutely crush him with a rejection. All the power was in my hands.

I knew that he would always be faithful to me, I knew he would love Lex like his own, I knew he would be an amazing father and I knew he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure we were happy and taken care of and I loved that, but what I also loved was that he was stern.

He’s a push over on some things but if I agree to marry him he wouldn’t be as much, he wouldn’t let me walk all over him, he would make sure I as happy but he wouldn’t just let me get my way all the time. He challenges me and he makes me think. He makes me so unbelievably angry and happy at the same time,

I want to hit him and have him hold me, I wanted him out of my life and I clung to him, he was just everything I didn’t but always wanted. I never could figure out exactly how I felt around him, just that it was something right and good, the kind of way I should feel about a man.

“I just know that I was a lesser man before I met you, I was heading down a bad road with my habits and I didn’t care about anyone, especially myself and you saved me. You gave my life meaning again, you reminded me what it’s like to be able to be someone’s support and lean on someone, without you I can’t even imagine how bad my life would be, you and Lalexia were my reason to turn everything around, I wanted to be the kind of man who deserved you both in my life and I know that I wouldn’t want the mother of my child to be anyone else and I could never imagine spending my life with anyone else.” he paused again and pulled the ring out of the box and this was it, the moment of truth, the decision.

“Mari, will you marry me?” he asked me and I just cried and as I looked into his hopeful eyes I couldn’t do anything else but nod.

“Yes.” I whispered and he locked bother relieved and shocked at the same time, he put the ring on my finger and Lex was jumping and running and screaming in excitement.

When he started I had every intention of telling him I wasn’t ready, that I loved him but I needed more time and I needed to have Collin here first but his speech, the way he saw me and the way that it wasn’t just about me but about Lalexia and Collin, I don’t know I just, I finally realized he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I couldn’t imagine waking up to anyone else, I never wanted any other man to touch me like he did and I didn’t want to ever see him with someone else.

“You are so beautiful, inside and out.” He whispered in my ear and he wrapped his arms around me and hugged just me first before wrapping one are around me and the other around Lalexia. This is what really got me, his love for not just me but for the both of us.

He never minded that I had a daughter or that I had to spend less time with him to spend it with her, he always understood she came first and he was patient about it, he tried to include her when he could and he was protective of her.

I could never marry someone who didn’t love her like I did and I knew that by blood or not, he would think of her as his. He would raise her and love her and show no bias between the two of them and that’s why I said yes, that’s why I was marrying him.

He was the kind of person I had always wanted and he’s the man I had been waiting for and of course here he came when I least expected it. I didn’t want him or need him and he just was a persistent one, and a pain in the ass.

All the claustrophobic feelings I had when he brought up love or marriage or anything of that nature just seemed to vanish, I no longer felt uneasy about being with him or sick about the idea of him proposing. It was just something just suddenly shifted into place and for once everything just felt right.

The tightness in my chest from the beginning of a panic attack was gone and left me feeling lighter and happy. Lex wiggled out of his grip and he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

The ring on my finger didn’t feel like a ball and chain like I thought it would, it felt nice. It was beautiful and it was perfect since him and my daughter picked it out together, even for something private like a proposal he made sure she was involved in all the aspects of it and that just, I can’t describe how wonderful that was or how much it meant to me that he did that. It was like life seemed brighter now and I don’t know why I was ever so doubtful to begin with anymore.

I acted like it was some kind of death sentence or something, like being with him long term would be dreadful or something, I wish I saw things this was earlier because it would have made life a whole lot easier. Then again, things with us had never been easy and that was just how I liked them; messy, complicated, passionate, chaos and our kind of perfect.

I really loved Shawn, we were having a baby and now we were getting married.

And best of all, I was more than okay with it all.