Ophelia [a.m]

𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖒 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓

  You were breaking me and I loved it.

  I loved every moment of it.

  Your body heat was making me feel as if I was thrown into the belly of a dragon, it's insides churning as it got ready to spew its lick of flames.

  I loved every second you exhaled a breath and said my name so gently I thought I might shatter.

  Abraxas.

  I wanted to runaway with you.

  Was that so bizarre a thing to think?

  I wanted to run away with you, long into the night.

  I wanted to see the world and eat at a small cafe on the brink of a small city with flowers hanging above our heads and burnt coffee at my lips and you smiling at me and your hand in mine.

  I wanted it all.

  I was enveloping you and I never wanted to stop.

  Rising and heating and blowing and you mewling and hot honey and roses and just - you - I loved every second of it.

  I wanted to kill myself for dragging this out so long.

  Could we have had this years ago?

  Back in fifth year I could've stated it plainly but no, I was scared.

  I've always been scared.

  When we first met I could've took your hand and said hello, but I didn't in fear of my fathers cane and mothers scrutiny.

  Damn them.

  My world is you at the moment.

  Arching and tightening and sweating and a grin full of cherry red, bitten at lips.

  Your eyes were startling as they leaked the blood of gods, your mascara running down in messy rivers and fuck-

  You're so beautiful.

  How do I handle such tenderness? How am I to cope? I've never been in such a position.

  Lust has been a companion to me before but this... this was something else entirely and I loved every minute of it.

  You were providing me salvation and it's consuming me.

  Ophelia.

  I've whispered your name many times but never did I think you'd be whispering mine back.

  Your nails found purchase in the slicked back ice that adorned by head, clawing and pulling and preening and I was unraveling.

  You were undoing me and I loved it.

  You make me forget how much I've died over the years.

  Grinding and retreating, silk spilling against searing flesh. An intimate dance between two star struck idiots who were lonely and in desperate need for the other.

  I loved it.

  A chair toppled over.

  Your back found purchase on a table.

  My thumb tugged against your lips and you open and you're warm and more rain fell down and fuck-

  You're beautiful.

  All that pain I've been harboring for years was tearing out of me in a torrential down pour and I was scared it'd be too much for you - I didn't want you to drown - but you stopped me.

  With your eyes and your mouth and your kiss to my lips you told me clear as day.

  It wasn't my fault.

  Hands clasping around your rib age I lift and you hover and I feel if I let go you'll float away from me.

  God can't claim you as his angel.

  Not yet.

  What a malicious time this was for us, for the world.

  Winter brings death yet people sing of tidings and joy.

  Lower you move and your heat greets me again and I'm becoming unbound all over.

  I loved it.

  Whatever passions we've had, I realize we're at liberty to set them free.

  Your throat bends.

  I'm afraid but you're here, looking at me as if I'm the one who's providing sanctuary and I move to the rhythm you set.

  I've always been so lonely but you're here.

  I'm holding you.

  I'm afraid.

  Abraxas.

  Your mouth gapes open, you're melting in my arms and the world is ripping apart like golden leaves fallen from fire.

  Why do desire and longing always bring about the most unfortunate of circumstances?

  Ophelia what have you done to me?

  Heaven was roaring in my ears.

  Faster - quicker - Abraxas - your hair was twined between my fingers - tugging - biting - aching - Abraxas - rougher - my hand was imprinted upon your throat.

  Our mingled breathes and the smell of you was a new cologne that I wanted to adorn everywhere.

  I wanted you to burn me, leave your mark, prove that you're here and real.

  Nails found purchase in the taut muscles of my back.

  Pulling - dragging - sinking.

  Every kiss you left was like hot wax, sealing my fate.

  Ophelia, I am yours.

  The room was in sweet distress, neither of us kept to one spot for long.

  Tension and tension, years of it building up and it had snapped tonight.

  The madness of your hair and the marking of my mouth.

  I craved you.

  I'd never been so thankful to be human.

  Fuck dying.

  I want you.

  I want you to burn the heart out of me.

  And we started again.