Warriors #5: Heart of Fire

Chapter 25

Swiftpaw's POV

How else do you think those kits were lured away from camp, you mouse-brain?

These words continued to be an echo in my head as my eyes flew open. I lifted my head slightly to see that my nest looked ruffled, as if I had adjusted myself and moved around several times.

Well, that was because I had, I suppose. Since I had returned to the medicine den after Mistpelt's vigil, it felt as if I had spent countless moons trying to go to sleep. But it felt impossible. What Ashfur had revealed to me just as I had settled down a little ways away from the vigil had made me feel physically sick. Lilypetal's three kits nearly drowning in the lake, and Mistpelt... it was all Ashfur's fault, I reflected. Why did he even do it in the first place? Could I have prevented this?

That question, and its possible answer, was too much to even fathom. No, I tried to tell myself. No way. I didn't even know about it, so what could I have done?

Ashfur's words had been too much for me to bear. I didn't even know what it made me feel... all I knew was that being in the presence of Mistpelt's vigil was going to be too difficult for me to stand anymore. I could feel the gazes of at least a few cats burning into me as I had stormed into the medicine den, but I didn't care. I needed to be alone. No cat could know the truth of this situation, this information that I was sure I was going to have to hide.

I was then that I had tried to fall asleep, attempting to forget about the happenings of last night. I had hoped that maybe I would wake up, and it would have all left my mind, and Ashfur would never bring it up again. But the fact that I hadn't been able to even sleep didn't help matters.

It appeared as if I had managed to sleep for just a little while though, but I might as well have just spent more time tossing and turning, because I felt just as drained, uncomfortable and exhausted as I had been before I dozed off. And unfortunately, my Dark Forest mentor's words were still as fresh in my head as a caught piece of prey.

I turned on my other side as I let out a quiet huff, knowing full well that I wasn't going to be able to sleep again. I had never felt like so much was weighing on my mind. I didn't know how in the name of StarClan I was going to handle it.

I lifted my head up and scanned around the den, and it appeared that my denmates had also returned to their nests at some point during the night. Snowpaw was curled up into her usual tight ball, her eyebrows furrowed as she seemed to be in a very light, uncomfortable sleep. Molepaw was lying on his belly with his head over his paws. Cherrypaw was curled up similarly to how Snowpaw was, but her tail was draped over her closed eyes, almost as if it were assisting her in keeping her asleep.

I couldn't help but lightly purr with amusement at this sight. That's cute.

I then sighed, my head falling back onto the soft moss as another wave of dread and discomfort ran through me, reminding me of the current circumstances. I don't know how I'm going to stand being around my Clanmates when I'm carrying this... this horrible knowledge, I realized as I quietly stirred once again. It's sucking the fun out of the fact that I'm going to be a warrior today.

My eyes then widened, the first time this thought having crossed my mind. I'm going to be a warrior today... I repeated, my head shaking quickly as I stood up. That is what should be first on my mind.

I then began to quietly pad out of the apprentices den. What's done is done. There's nothing I could have done about it, so I'm not going to dwell on it, I told myself as I crawled out into the now empty ThunderClan camp clearing. It was still as dark as night up in the sky, but I could tell that dawn was not far ahead.