Corrupted Love - #Soukoku

Chapter 12 - Fall For You

I brought him back with me even though Yosano-san warned me about it, assuring me that he would not get better if I took him home. However, he would not get better with her either. We all knew that. His time was now limited and it was my fault. If only I had gotten to him earlier. Odasaku, what am I supposed to do now? The habit of asking Odasaku for advice has now become part of me, making me find peace in all this violence in my long-gone friend. I put Chuuya down on the bed and wrapped a blanket around him. Keeping him warm, doing everything in my power to make it easier for him to keep fighting, if only for a second. 

"Do you need anything?" I asked him, putting my hand against his cheek in the process, making him look at me. His body temperature dropped since earlier today and it has been decreasing regularly over the past few weeks.

"I'll be gone soon, aren't I?" He said. Something in his tone tore me up from the inside. During all those years with him, and even after leaving the Port Mafia had I never recalled hearing him sound so... powerless. So broken.

"No." I know that it's inevitable but I didn't have the heart to tell him. I knew that he could see right through me. Since when did Chuuya start noticing all those things about me? How could I be that clueless about all of this? He is the only one alive who actually knew the real me and I took him for granted. Odasaku, what have I done?

"It's not your fault asshole." He stated as if he had read my mind.

"Chuuya"

"It's not. Don't blame yourself for every stupid thing everyone around you does. I shouldn't have used corruption without you and I have to pay the price for my reckless behavior."

"I should've figured it out, the fact that you would use your ability. You wouldn't use it if you never trusted me. I let you down."

He shook his head, pulling the blanket closer to him.

"Are you cold?" I put my hand over his, feeling his cold skin against mine. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down as he leaned back, laying himself on the bed. I supported myself on my upper arm watching his delicate body under me.

"Chuuya." I breathed into his ear as he put his arms around my neck, softly placing a kiss on my cheek. 

"Sleep next to me," he pleaded as he slowly dozed off, nuzzled up against me. 

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I woke up a few hours later while Chuuya continued his peaceful slumber. I slowly detangled myself out of his grip and made my way towards the bathroom to take a shower and give myself a moment to think this through. I closed the door after me as I hastily got undressed and unwrapped the bandages around my body letting the bathroom fill with steam in the meantime. 

I took a long warm shower, thoroughly thinking about any possibilities in saving him even though every idea seemed worthless. I couldn't figure out a new scenario I already hadn't tried. After what felt like an hour I decided to get out of the shower and dried myself up as unwelcome tears sprung to my eyes. A picture of his dead, cold body flashed through my head. I desperately tried to wipe the tears that only continued dripping as the pain only grew stronger. I gripped the faucet and gave in to the grief that had my heart in its grip and cried quietly, letting out a silent scream. I turned the water on and let it run, slowly merging with my fallen tears. My grip only tightened on the faucet, replicating the smothering feeling gripping my heart, tearing it into pieces. I looked at my now, unfamiliar reflection with its swollen, red eyes. The desperation and the pain shone through the redness. I washed my faced with cold water, hoping that the cold water would hide my swollen eyes when I re-entered the bedroom.