The VLC - Adelaide

Old Habits

I felt almost one hundred percent on Monday, but I had not woken up once on Sunday after going to bed so I was in desperate need of a shower. I tried my best to wash away the shame, but there was definitely some lingering humiliation.

"You didn't call me yesterday." Gavin startled me as I walked onto campus that morning. "I was worried your parents had locked you up permanently."

"No, nothing that serious. My mom just took my phone away again. I guess I only need it when they let me out of my pen." I struggled to look him in the eye. I knew I had been ridiculous and certainly overreacted to Gavin's response to the situation. Before I could apologize, Gavin gently touched my arm. "Hey, I am sorry about Saturday. I should have taken care of you, and I shouldn't have been so mad. You didn't know what would happen."

"Not a big deal. Nothing bad happened in the end. Besides, I should be sorry. I am such an idiot. My headache was great punishment for my stupidity. I am not looking forward to the scolding I am sure to get from the girls today."

"They might understand." Gavin looked doubtful. "I just know they are going to blame me. Maybe I shouldn't come to lunch today... I might be lynched."

"Scaredy cat." I took his hand and we walked to my class. It appeared we would be able to get past everything.

There wasn't a lynching in fourth period, but I may have preferred that to the berating I received. Marley was not very vocal. Instead she leaned back, arms folded, glaring at me, nodding her head to all of the things Liz and Ashleigh were saying. Ashleigh gave me first hand accounts of the stupid things she had seen happen to people who were inebriated. Liz talked about all of the things I would be throwing away. They both wondered what my possible motivation could have been. They all banned me from ever going to another party, and promised they would be having words with Gavin. I tried to think that at least I was loved, but I was too stubborn not to fight back a little, defend myself a little. They would hear none of it. Apparently I have free will and shouldn't make excuses for my behavior. I felt like I was at home listening to a speech from my parents.

I left Mr. Johnson's class with my head down, going to lunch. Not even Gavin's smile could lift my mood. It had only been one stupid night, not the end of the world. I heard the barrage headed in Gavin's direction as soon as the girls saw him. He was smarter than I was and didn't make any excuses for himself. This seemed to assuage some of their anger. After everyone felt the two of us had been sufficiently chastised, we fell silent and ate our lunches.

As the bell rang to go to fifth period, I shrieked. "I can't believe I forgot it again!" I felt like I was hyperventilating.

"What are you talking about?" Gavin asked. He noticed my rapid breathing. "Calm down Addy. I am sure it will be fine."

"No, it won't. I left my project for history at home again. I will lose two letter grades now, and your charm cannot get me out of this. You know she doesn't budge on her late work policies. Even if it's perfect, the best I can do is a C, and it's not perfect. I have been too distracted to really polish any of my work. Did you know that last week I got a really bad grade on a math quiz because I hadn't been paying attention in class? I have always been a straight A student. My parents are going to kill me. I will never get into my dream school now." I wanted to cry, but I knew how ridiculous it would look to cry over a grade.

"I don't want to sound harsh, but high school is nothing like middle school. You can't really compare your grades between now and then. You should expect to struggle a little. Nobody's perfect."

"I don't want perfection, but there is no excuse for this kind of forgetfulness. The paper is sitting at home on my desk. I didn't even save it to the cloud, and my flash drive is in my computer! I have no backup plan. I will just have to bring it tomorrow. This paper is worth twenty percent of our grade. That will be hard to recover from." I walked into class without saying goodbye.