Lurid (BWWM)

|Chapter 20|

Chapter 20
Lurid
"It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air - there's the rub, the task."-Virgil

These dreams I'm having are getting on my last fucking nerves. Every one I have feels so damn real. Every one. Is it a sign? Are my dreams trying to tell me I'm trapped and someone takes my heart away? Or someone breaks my heart? Really, what is the sign? Every last one of them deals with my heart. My heart this my heart that. Except the first dream I had. Someone grabbed onto my foot saying they couldn't let me go, was that another metaphor for me being trapped? This isn't the damn fault in our stars and Augustus talking about his cigarette metaphor shit. This is probably life or death or am I just being over dramatic?

No, no maybe I am dreaming. Maybe this is a dream inside a dream again. Maybe this is inception again, if it is then where the hell is Leonardo Dicaprio?! Okay then it's not. These weird dreams started when Angel came. Or did it start when I was getting better? I can't even remember. The only time I had amazing dreams was when Angel was in them, but I got a bad one with him in it involving him stabbing my heart. I'm over thinking it. I just need to relax. I need to relax forever. Okay now I am being over dramatic.

"Hey." I turned around in my chair seeing Angel. He smiles back at me sweetly and I turned back around looking at my empty back yard. He sat down beside me then quickly picked me up sitting me in his lap holding me down.

"Let go of me." I said struggling and hitting his arms this is like the first time him cuddling me.

"Angel! I mean it." I struggled even more.

"Just let me hold you. Please." The way he said please I wanted to submit. The way he said it sounded sad, not demanding.

"Fine."

"Why have you been ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?" He asked stroking my hair and rubbing my thighs. Did he do something other then tell me that he loves me and how he cares about me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and get married and have kids. Oh and- "remember I could hear your thoughts. Stop ranting." I shut my mouth positioning myself sideways to talk to him.

"That's not nice to invade other people's thoughts." I crossed my arms and he started to laugh at me.

"But really. What did I do Reign? I thought things were going really well and-"

"Now you're ranting."

"Please tell me what did I do?"

"I- I don't want to live forever. I already been through so much and you coming telling me that we are going to be together forever is... kinda over whelming." He touched the back of my neck bringing his lips close to mine. His lips are so soft, I almost forgot how soft they felt and how I get so drown into them. I desire it mostly his touch, and love. I'm flip flopping back and forth to wanting his love, but not being with him forever. I'm stuck in limbo. I have no idea what I want nor what I want to do. He stopped kissing me and a saw I tear rolling down his cheek. I whipped it away with my sleeve then kissed him softly. Looking back at his beautiful blues.

"I only want to be with you." I said smiling up at him. His face lit up and he started to kiss all over my face.

"I love you to the moon and back. And I always will. Forever." I never felt this happy before I think. I guess I was this happy when I got my hair back, because I started to cry, but this feeling I'm feeling right now is... amazing. More amazing. It feels good being in his arms and knowing I'll be in his arms forever, but... what if I regret wanting to live forever and that I want to die eventually? Can lurid's die? Do they go back to the dark place were they where in the first place? "Please stop thinking so much. Let's just enjoy each other's company. Okay?" I puffed out air and said okay kissing his cheek and leaning back into his chest while He rocked me to sleep.
~.~
I woke up seeing Angel staring at me playing with my hair. When he saw that I was awake he kissed my forehead saying,

"You finally woke up."

"Yeah." I said. My throat felt so dry I got up going into my kitchen to get water with Angel following me. Yet again like a puppy. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Where's my mom and them?" I asked turning around.

"Oh they're preparing our house for us also they're packing their stuff."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. We will be happy together. I swear. I love you so much Reign." He kissed my temple. I can't believe I'm about to say this.

"I... I love you too Angel." He smiled at me and my skin started to sting. "Shit." I went to the sink turning the faucet on and I put my arms under the water. My skin was still stinging and it started to hurt. I started hyperventilating when it felt like it was on fire. I pushed Angel out of my way running to my room.