Dramione Diaries | Fluffy Oneshots

11 | summer of no lies

Honestly
Eric Nam

"사랑했지만 이제 지친거야"
"I loved you, but now I'm tired"

•••

Hermione,

I'm too scared to hurt you.

The warmth of her hand was uncharacteristically cold in the summer day. The bright sun beat against his face despite the muggle cap and sunglasses he wore. Beads of sweat formed on his temples, causing a grossly sticky feeling to emerge. He disliked the feeling of summer recently, but he didn't want to ruin her enjoyment.

She, on the other hand, was a bundle of grins and smiles. She pulled him over to a garden of yellow daffodils, admiring the look and the fragrance the flower gives off. Summer brought out the brightest of Hermione that he'd ever seen, and that initially created his liking for this weather.

He bent down to pick a flower for her, tucking it into her curls and behind her ear with a simple smile. She returned a brilliant glow of her own.

He didn't remember what it felt like to have butterflies fluttering in his chest like a monarch sanctuary at her love. He didn't remember what it was like to feel warm waves rise up his body like the sea at her kisses. He didn't remember the feeling of summer. It wasn't how it felt like it did four years ago.

I don't know how to tell you that our summers don't feel the same anymore.

Winters were what she disliked. She didn't prefer the layers of clothing and the frequent sicknesses. She didn't prefer the bare trees and frozen flowers and the chilly breeze that keeps her shivering in the cold.

But he loves it.

Her summers weren't his winters to him. And those were the first signs showing where his heart truly laid.

They rested on the picnic blanket overlooking the sea with the yellow daffodils sprouted around them. She rambled on about her day in the Ministry, asking every now and then what he did in his mornings at work and his thoughts on other things as she predictably does every week.

He was distracted. As usual whenever she speaks. There just wasn't anything interesting.

If she noticed, she didn't show it. For the last two years he had nodded and answered back as heartfelt as he could, and he must've done pretty well to never be questioned nor suspected. It was typical of him to daydream as he stared into the overly familiar lighthouse on the rocky shore, wondering a life if he didn't feel this way. Wondering a life if he did actually went with the plan he never found courage to act upon.

I can never find a good time. For the past two years, I've waited for too long.

He wasn't sure if it was because he was afraid for her or afraid for himself. Would he feel guilty afterwards? Of course he would, but he was so sure he would also feel relieved.

He was tired of all the lies. Of long snogs and making love. "I love you"'s were a common occurrence he couldn't steer away from. His heart was drained. He couldn't remember a time where it wasn't.

Rather, he was pressured. Pressured to play the perfect part of a movie with an ending she wholeheartedly expected. It was obvious what she wanted, but he was afraid he couldn't give it to her.

But he wasn't afraid for her happiness. He was afraid for his.

"Draco, do you think about the future?" His name was delicate on her lips which snapped him out of his thoughts of doubts and fears.

"I do, actually," he smiled warmly at her, his eyes melting into her chocolate pools of adoration. He inwardly grimaced.

"Do you think about us?" She asked as her eyes gazed into the distance with a relaxed grin on her face.

He nodded solemnly, "Of course."

His heart hammered. The future was a subject he hardly talked about with her. For reasons he could never explain to her.

I loved you. I honestly did, but I'm getting tired.

Her eyes gleamed joyously at his answer, and he prepared for the next question he knew was about to be asked, "How do you think about us?"

"Actually Hermione," he looked straight at her wondering pools of caramel.

"I think we should break up."

I finally don't have to lie.

Draco Malfoy