System

15. Calm at the Centre

Philipa Bartim was not enjoying herself. Untangling the mess caused by the disappearance of Arden Crittis was both frustrating and painful. She found each death or injury depressing and her mood was becoming steadily more dark as they fought to regain control of the system.

The way that Certaine looked at them all with suspicion was not helping and she was beginning to get annoyed with him. He had taken charge of the situation with his usual confidence - which she welcomed on one level, but found intensely annoying on another. It isn't fun to be patronised by someone who suspects you of being a mass murderer.

Although there was a lot to do, time in the control room was accelerated so they weren't under as much pressure as they might have been. In general, they were setting off actions that would take effect over a period of several hours. It was slow and detailed work which they needed to get right if more people were to survive the storm.

She had found a small alcove away from the main table so she could get a quiet moment. The room was flooded by her avatars, so she was well represented. She trusted them to get on with things. They were, after all, echoes of her own personality and had access to the same immense networks that she did.

The grumbling in her head was becoming intense. She was having to process a web of complex relationships and it strained her patience. Every instinct was driving her away from the crowd. In times like this she craved solitude and isolation. It was a case of running away before her own internal dynamics drove her to lash out verbally - and then deal with the feelings of guilt afterwards.

She turned her back on the room and pretended to focus on the words in a book. She wasn't really seeing them and had no idea what the title was. It was hard to relax and she was longing for the inaccessible mountain retreat where she often hid when the pressure became too much.

The shadow of Certaine's presence blocked the light for a moment and she nearly stood up and stomped away - but he placed a mug in front of her and gently patted her shoulders. It was a familiar act that made her feel strangely safe.

He had picked one of her favourite logos for the mug - a simple circle inside a hexagon - her own symbol of inner peace. She smiled and allowed her shoulders to relax.

'I'm sorry if I've been hard on you,' he said gently, and she allowed herself to hear the softness of his voice. It awakened memories of times that they had spent together in the past and the noise of the room began to fade from her consciousness.

'It's okay,' she said with a sigh as she edged to one side to allow him to sit next to her.

He pulled a chair in beside her and bent his head forwards in a conspiratorial way. She was already enjoying the attention but still felt a little tense. She picked up the mug and raised it to her lips. He had picked out a tea that reminded her of a jungle island that they had once visited together. She could almost taste the fresh leaves, and the feelings warm and lush greenness overwhelmed her.

'Pottorhitas,' she said with a sigh. 'We spent a whole month at that hotel with the ocean view... The local food was lightly spiced, and the drinks all tasted of pineapple...'

Certaine chuckled gently.

'Glad you remember it,' he said softly. 'We spent the morning studying Tai Chi with that old master Crittis had created for us and then there were the afternoons on the beach...'

'It was nice,' she said with her usual smile. The pleasant memories were bringing her back from the edge. On one level, she knew that he was playing mind games with her, but at this moment, she really didn't care. It was just good to feel herself again - if only for a moment.