Losing Everything

Chapter 8.1: Now

Lucy went outside, and down the front steps, and then stood for a moment on Erica’s lawn, looking around and wondering what to do. It was a warm day, and still a little windy, but neither so hot nor so windy as to be annoying.

She looked around, wondering, and then decided she might as well actually go for a walk. And since she had nowhere else particular to go, she might as well walk back towards her car. Although actually, she realised when she thought about it, the car wasn’t really her car any more. Strictly speaking it was the car which had used to be hers, and which no-one had got around to taking away from her yet.

Not that the difference really mattered.

She started walking. It was a small town, and the beach wasn’t very big, so the car was actually only two blocks away, down the road that ran alongside the beach. She could see it from the corner of Erica’s street, she realized, and walked towards it, thinking.

She walked up to the car, and then got into it, mostly just because it was a habit to get inside once she was there. Then she sat there without starting the engine, wondering what to do next. She could drive it back towards Erica’s, she supposed, and park it more tidily there. Or she could just drive away, and never see Erica again. She wasn’t really sure which she wanted to do most, right then, but driving somewhere seemed to be part of it, so she turned on the engine.

She glanced at the dashboard, mostly just because of more driving habits, and saw the fuel had almost run out, and felt a bit silly. She should have thought of that while she still had a credit card. She thought about going somewhere and filling it, but that would use a fair bit of the money she had left, and she didn’t quite know why she’d bother when someone might track her down and take the car away from her at any moment.

She thought about that. About being tracked down. She tried to remember if the car had any kind of anti-theft system installed in it. She didn’t actually know, because she’d never cared before. It was just a car, and she drove it places, and that was all. She wished she knew now, though, because hiding it would be a lot harder if it was being traced somehow. She wondered, and thought, and then suddenly switched the engine off.

It probably wouldn’t stop the car being traced, not really, but on the other hand it might. And since she didn’t know for sure, and if there was any possibility that having the engine off would help, then she should probably keep it off.

She switched the engine off, and then sat for a moment, thinking. After a moment, she opened the car door, mainly because the engine was off, and so the air conditioning was too. It was a nice day, and not too hot, and a breeze was blowing off the sea, which made sitting there pleasant. She thought, and decided that she had to start dealing with her life. She needed to start dealing with everything, and she might as well do it here, while she had a nice place to sit. She took her phone out of her pocket, and looked at it, thinking. It was off because it had been annoying her the night before, while she was trying to leave the message for Erica. It had been beeping and buzzing to alert her to new messages while she’d talked, so she had switched it off when she finished with it.

She switched it back on now, and then waited, while it started itself up and found a signal.

As soon as it did, it started its nagging beeps again.

She had messages, a string of them, one after another. Seventeen voicemails, and about as many new text messages. She started listening to the messages. Her lawyers. Other people’s lawyers. Other people’s lawyers asking her to let them know who her lawyers were. The government, the ATO, then ASIC and some kind of audit office too. It was all turning into a gigantic clusterfuck and she was exhausted and couldn’t be bothered any more.

She sat there for a minute, letting the messages play, not really listening, and then she hung up the phone, and switched it back off, and got out of the car, and locked it, and then walked back up the street towards Erica’s house.

She didn’t quite know why. It just seemed like the right thing to do.