No matter (Fem!KirishimaxBakugou)

Understand

Saturday, 5:25 P.M., common room

Pov: Katsuki Bakugou

I sat in my usual hunched over criss-cross position, staring at nothing in particular, everyone around me was laughing and talking among themselves, obviously not my usual scene — but this was actually quite calming in a sense. Now in more common behavior, I wouldn't give a flying fuck about what was happening here and would quickly retreat to my room to study or train. Today was different. There was not enough red. As much as I don't want to admit it, I was worried about Eijiro Kirishima... Especially after the scene I witnessed yesterday. What was going on with Shitty hair and why did I care so much? It's not like there is some type of connection that was beyond friendship between them? Right? Right.

I and Shitty hair are simply equals... Nothing more... Nothing less.

Before the quirk affected Kirishima

Sunday, 4:10 A.M., ???

POV: Katsuki Bakugou

"What was the fucking point of bringing me here!?" I snared, looking at my surroundings.

It was a medium-sized hill and on top of it was a tree that was quietly shedding its leaves, getting ready for the spring blossom not too far from now. It was still sorta dark outside so I wasn't really sure what I was seeing. Kirishima bounded ahead of me to the tree and took off his bag, sitting down against the trunk. "Come join me Bakubro!"

I took a short step back, ignoring the slight speed-up in my pulse. "Why the hell should I?"

Kirishima looked surprised, offended more really — again, hard to tell since it was still kinda dark outside. "I went out of my way to get Aizawa-Sensei to approve of us doing this, the least you could do is follow my lead man."

I sighed in defeat, taking off of my bag and sitting next to Shitty hair. "This better be worth my damn time—" 

"'you won't be hearing the end of it' I know." Shitty hair looked at me with the sharp ass smile, if smiles could actually give off light, Kirishima's smile would burn like the fucking sun.

"Good." We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, looking ahead of us at everything possible except each other. It wasn't awkward at all, comfort was settled just fine; of course, there was something else that made this lack of interaction seem a bit tipsy.

Spiked red-head turned to me again. "Hey man, ... Wanna know why I brought you here?"

"So we really gonna pretend like that wasn't the first question I asked? You know what? Nevermind. Why'd ya bring me here dumbass."

Shitty hair took a deep breath, looking away. "Well—"

"Spit it out- don't choke on it dumb hair."

"I wanted to help you relax." Kirishima blurted out, making a wild hand gesture towards the air.

"Relax?..." I said slowly, feeling the word roll graciously on my tongue. That's a word I haven't said in a while.

"Yeah." Kirishima took a deep breath, here comes the rant. "You know things have been stressful lately. The end of the school year is almost here and all you've been doing is studying and training non-stop. And-I doesn't know man... I just wanted you to have some time to not have your thoughts all over the place."

I opened my mouth, only to close it back. What do I say? What's the proper to come back to something like this? Thank you seems like a good thing to say — because deep down — I really appreciate this. But to me that's bullshit and it meant so little. I wanted to appreciate him more- I wanted to—

"Don't panic." How did he know? "I brought you here so you don't have to overthink, you don't have to say 'thank you' or anything else for that matter. I'm happy just seeing you calm and happy."

"Okay..." I mumbled quickly, staring at the slowly rising sunset in the distance and counting all the colors I could find.  My heart speed was practically running a marathon with how fast it was beating. But why... There is nothing special about this moment. It was just me and Kirishima. All alone. Together. We could probably — lemme not finish that thought. Okay, maybe there was just a bit more than friendship between us. Did Kirishima see it like that?

Or was this destined to be a one-sided love?

Saturday, 5:30 P.M., common room

I shook my head, trying to forget that memory. It wasn't relevant... It was obvious now that Kirishima didn't feel the same way... And even if he did, was I truly worthy of his love? No, and that was the end of it.

I was rude, impatient, and harsh on many levels. Why would a burst of sunshine like Eijiro Kirishima love someone like me? It was a puzzle why he even admired me in the first place. He fought so hard to get to know me and be by my side, fought so hard to get to my standards, and pushed to exceed them even when he was enough in my eyes... I should be his fanboy, not the other way around. He deserved it- seriously.

I was worried. It was settled, after all this time. I felt like it was my fault in a way. after all those mean things I said I should have apologized, no matter how much it hurt my pride. I should have pushed to make him make good about the position he's in, instead of ignoring him out of embarrassment. Cause he would do the same for me anytime, no question asked.

Not only would I be a bad lover, but I'm a bad best friend. I stood up suddenly, startling everyone -- especially Deku.

"Dude, are you alright?" Soy sauce asked cautiously, not sure what I'm so jumpy about.

"Midoriya didn't even do anything this time. Don't tell me you're beating him with no purpose now." I ignored Dunce face as I practically sprinted to my room, grabbing my phone and dialing Kirishima's number. I was gonna make this right.

My anxiety prickled up more and more as the phone ringed. Finally, I heard a sort of stressed voice say "hello?"

"Shitty hair," I said in relief, my voice cracking a bit.

"Woah, what's wrong?" He said, his feminine voice bending to give me a caring tone. But it ended up sounding more stressed.

"Uh- um." I just wanted to hear your voice again. "We need to talk when you get back."

I heard something shift, Kirishima was probably sitting on a bed or a couch or something. "What about?" He said in a cautious tone. I don't blame him. I would be cautious if someone told me that too.

"About everything- if that's alright with you?" 

"Sure. But this is a bit sudden and you're honestly the last person I would expect it from-" I held back a wince, this was the effect of my on-going attitude, this was the result of me being too gratified to open up. My best friend didn't even fully know who I was on the inside. 

"When will you be back?" I asked, picking my fingernails nervously.

"Later today or tomorrow morning depends on how things continue going here" His voice sounded hopeful and doubtful at the same time as if he lost all hope of achieving what he said he was going to achieve.

"What is happening over there anyway? Is your family okay?" 

"Um- for the most part. I should go and check on them now."

"Oh alright," I went quiet for a few seconds. "Talk to you later?"

I could practically feel Kirishima's smile. "Talk to you later man..." 

A/N: This took me fucking forever. And for what? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this. I wanted to post a chapter for my birthday- so here we are. I'm not sure when the next chapter is gonna be out because of school. But hopefully soon. Bye, love you all UwU