Maybe This Time // Hayes Grier

chapter 4

I opened the door to my apartment and plopped down on my twin bed. My roommate was on the other side of our room fast asleep. My third roommate was above him on the top bunk snoring away like usual.

I looked at the digital clock on my night stand on the left side of me. 4:32 it read. I haven't gone to sleep yet but this was the only night I haven't actually gone to sleep sense I've talked to B. The last few days I've gotten sleep, just couldn't stay asleep. Whenever I woke up I went on runs, then went back to my dorm to crash again. I've been running for the last 3 hours.

I took off my sweaty shirt but stayed in my gym shorts. I kicked off my shoes then peeled off my sweaty socks and out them in the hamper that's by my dresser at the end of my bed.

As I lie on my bed shirtless I stare at the turned off light on the ceiling. I feel like getting my phone and texting or calling her but I wasn't sure if if was appropriate or not. I decided against the wager.

I keep telling myself I'm crazy for feeling this way about a girl. I've been trying to convince myself that it's just me being excited to see her again but there's no real feelings. It's not working.

I want it get over her so bad. I do. I want to her over B. But something isn't letting me and I don't know what it is.

I've heard many times from movies or friends telling other friends that the first step to overcoming an addiction is the will to stop. I'm not sure if I'd ever consider B an addiction, but I would say she's close.

But maybe, just maybe, there is some of me that doesn't want to get over her. I told myself when she moved to Arizona that I would find a way to be with her again. That I would find a way to see her and have us back.

So, maybe this time we can do it right.

*

I woke up the following morning to the sound of my beeping alarm. I roll over to see the time, 10:00.

I didn't even remember falling asleep last night. I just remember being consumed by thoughts.

I knew I've always felt that it should be the girl's heart that aches when she sees the guy she wants. Never would I have ever thought that I'd be in mental distress over a girl that I met when we were young. And now I find myself in that distress every day.

I hit the top of my alarm turning the sound that's ringing in my ears to a stop. I lye on my bed for a minute before I pull the covers away from my freshly cold legs and a shiver sends down my spine.

My roommates were gone, probably at class. I had plans with Allison for lunch. She was reluctant to having lunch with me sense our last meal didn't end to well.

I didn't have class today, the fall part of the season was over. Now I just debated on getting in the shower now or later.

I decided on now so I headed to the bathrooms. There was always the asshole that whipped towels at other guys. Occasionally I was that asshole, but not always. It would just be to my friends and they did it back.

I hopped in warm shower soaking my skin. Once I was finished I patted myself dry and wrapped the same towel around my waist.

I joined a few other boys that lived in my hall at the sinks. I brushed my teeth then my short hair. My hair dries fast, always has, so I put my gel in.

I walked back to my room with my towel still around my waist. I unlocked my empty room then got out my clothes.

My phone vibrated from my bed. I picked it up to see B's name on the screen.