The untamable

chapter 10

Alex's point of view.

shock, anger, but mostly shock evades my senses.

I am so angry that she slapped me. in all my life, I've only ever been slapped by one person and that was my father. he hated me so much, for what, for being born differently, something I couldn't control.

i was never a bad child. i listened to my mother. helped around the house when it was needed. tried spending time with my father, tried being the keyword as he never gave me the time of day unless he was reminding me of the abomination which he thought i was.

right now, my ego is bruised. i swore to never let anyone lay their hands on me again, so i feel like I've failed somewhere and failure is the worst feeling in the world to me.

so many scenarios of what I can do to this girl are running through my mind. the most prominent one is of her laying on the floor with a bullet through her head. i know that is my dark side talking, but i don't want to succumb to it. especially not now.

I am not going to kill her. only because i know I'm going to regret it immediately when it happens.

Antonio was right, I am going soft. things are not going to end well for me if I continue like this. there is too much at stake right now. i have to put her back in her place even if it hurts me more than it will hurt her. 

I've gotten too attached to her. I need to fix this.

"you have defied me for the last time" i say before I do something that i vowed never to do in my life.

I punch her. very hard. square in the face.

the scream she releases slices through the air like a sharp knife and pierces my heart. thinking of all the pain that I've been through doesn't allow me to feel any remorse as i climb on top of her and choke her.

darkness surrounds me. my father's face is all i see as i wrap my hands even tighter. 

the blood seeping from her nose is smudged across her face as she struggles against my grip, which doesn't loosen at all.

all the beatings i ever got, all the food that I was deprived of certain nights, all the cold nights spent sleeping  in the dog house because I was being punished for being a freak, increases my anger and disrupts my ability to think of what I'm doing.

hands wrap around my shoulders and  wrench me away from the almost lifeless girl laying on the floor.

what have I done?

"Alex, what are you doing man?" Antonio asks me.

unable to reply, I keep staring at Desi. her face, colored by blood and tears, breaks my heart. this was never supposed to happen. i needed to change her mindset of me, not reinforce it.

I wrench my arms away from the idiots who grabbed me, turn to face them and say

"if you ever, and I mean ever, touch me again, you'll wish that you never met me"

turning to face Desire, i crouch down to her level.

"defy me one more time, I promise you that there will be no one to help you"

that being said, I left the torture room with lightning speed, only to wind up in my office and bawl my eyes out.

thinking of what I had just done to Desire brings so much guilt into my heart. hitting women was never something that i did. i always considered laying hands on a woman to be an abomination. one that my father committed like homework.

thinking of my parents makes me angry. the thought of how they left me alone, to fend for myself, when I was just a kid, makes me cry even harder.

I'm so sorry Desire. please forgive me.

####

Desire's point of view

fear, regret, resentment and pain. these are the emotions running through me right now.

fear, because I have finally seen what she is capable of.regret, because it is my fault that she, unfortunately, has succumbed to her dark side.resentment, because she has put her hands on me, when she promised not to.and pain. not only physical pain but the shattering of my heart.

I've never experienced such turmoil in my life. 

look in her eyes when she was chocking me, was one I've never seen before. rage can not even begin to describe her at that moment. gone was the somewhat caring person that she was and in her place, a monster resided.

"come on, let's get you cleaned up" says the guy who was checking on me.

helping me up, i lost my balance.

"I'll just carry you" he picks me up bridal style. too tired to fight, I just lean my head against his shoulder. 

defeated. i start crying, so softly that the man couldn't hear me, but i guess he felt his shirt starting to get soaked because he looks down at me and sighs.

hardly managing to open the door with me in his arms, he walks us into a room that happens to be a sick room. a hospital bed was placed at the center and right next to it is a cabinet. I don't know what is inside, but I'm guessing that there are medical supplies.

gently placing me down on the bed, he opens the cabinet. bandages, ointments, cotton wool, gauze, an ice pack and nursers scissors are dropped on the bed.

"okay, I need you to first clean up. so just head into that bathroom" he points to a door situated on our left side, which i didn't notice "and once you are done, I'll take your of your wounds" he continues as he guides me to the bathroom.

upon entering, I lean my back on the door as I slide down with tears running down my face.

how could she do this to me? I knew that she was dangerous, but to the exact extent, did not cross my mind.

after fifteen minutes of bawling my eyes out, I finally decide to take the  much needed shower. lord knows I need it.